Evil Odd

Freedom

2011-03-26T17:27:00.001+11:00

I now know what it means.

Odd Sledging

2010-03-23T23:05:00.004+11:00

I pick up the phone to call a colleague about booking a squash court for our weekly match.

Me: "Hey Ox, how does 11:00am on Saturday sound?"
Ox: "Sounds good. I look forward to it."
Me: "You're sounding very professional. Are you at the client's?"
Ox: "Yes."
Me: "Oh, so you can't talk shit and have to behave all proper?"
Ox: "Yes."
Me: "That's good. BECAUSE I'M GOING TO KICK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU WHEN WE PLAY."

Silence

Me: "I'LL BEAT YOU LIKE A RED-HEADED STEP-CHILD."

Silence

Me: "I'LL WHIP YOU LIKE A RENTED MULE."

Silence

Me: "I'LL SLAP YOU LIKE A ONE-LEGGED PROSTITUTE."

Silence

Me: "I'VE BOUGHT FLOOR CLEANING DETERGENT. I'M GONNA NEED IT WHEN I WIPE THE FLOOR WITH YOU."

Silence

Me: "Okay. I'm done. See you when you get back."
Ox: "Thanks for that. I'll see you later."

Bwahaha.

Odd City People

2010-03-20T00:17:00.003+11:00

I spent most of last year in hotel rooms and airports. The year before, I thought that the measure of success in my profession is to wear expensive shirts, shoes and watches. So I spent most of my time lobbying the boss to get me on a big job so that I could wear exactly what I thought fancy people wore. A big job meant a lot of things at the time. Among other things, it meant an all-expenses paid trip and accommodation in five-star apartments smack bang in the middle all major cities. To think that my entire decision was based on such superficial observations disappoints me. More than that, it tears me from the inside every time I think about what I had to go through while wearing expensive shirts, shoes and watches.

What I didn't care to think about at the time was how this trip would change something in me that will take a long time to restore. Cliches like selling my soul to the devil or losing faith in humanity might hit the nail on the head here. But to leave it at that is to leave untouched something that I have been bottling up for the past seven or eight months. While I saw how people in these cities lived, what they did and how they went about their day, I couldn't imagine being one of them. Not only that, I just couldn't bring myself to know anyone beyond small-talk. By the forth month of living out of a suitcase, it became clear to me that no one knew anyone beyond small-talk. In fact, some of them considered others who they small-talked with as best of friends. Right now, I can't remember a single person who I made small-talk with, and it wouldn't bother me much if I never saw them again. To me, it appeared that everyone I came across shared this thought. The fact that I found others who were far more advanced in their carelessness towards others was a scary experience. It was even more disturbing that everyone seemed to be on a default asshole mode. The decision to treat anyone else with respect was a calculated one. What am I going to get out of it if I treat this stranger nicely? If there are no reprecussions of my treatment of this stranger, then I'm going to be an asshole. I'm going to be an asshole to this person unless someone proves to me that he is important and has important connections. These were the kinds of decisions that did more harm than good to me throughout most of last year.

What bothers me the most is that I sold out. I became one of them. I too started measuring people based on their worth. In most cases this worth was calculated based on a person's wealth and connection to big wigs in big companies. It eventually dawned upon me that in the eyes of others, and based on the factors I judged people by, I was worthless. For one, I was one of the few non-Caucasians who worked in the firm. So a judging person would surely come to the conclusion that I was rich, but had no connections to big wigs in big companies. That person would quickly revisit their initial conclusion by asking the question, 'If he's so rich, then why on earth is he here?' Then they would conclude with certainty that I was worthless.

Having black hair, dark brown eyes, and olive skin is not something that wins you points in this game. If you're female, everyone wants to score you so that they could tell their friends that they penetrated what is considered unpenetratable. If you're male, well, you're a target for racists and violent low-lives.

How do you win people over when everyone who looks like you in this country is either a gangster, a religious fundementalist, a rich Saudi brat, or a low-life crook? How do you win over people when the bad people in the news look like you? How do you win over people when the guy screaming 'Allah Akbar' threatening to bring hell to the West shares your language and heritage? The answer after a year of painful social observations on my behalf, is that you can't. It took ages for the Greeks, Italians, and Asians to be accepted here, so I don't expect Middle Easterners or Africans to be welcome with open arms anywhere here anytime soon. This lack of acceptance will remain in place as long as Murdoch and Packer own 90% of Australian media.

Come to think of it. My Australian-cities tour coincided with the spike in racial attacks on Indians in Melbourne. You would think that by being in a fancy schmancy firm that one would be surrounded by smart people who could see the bias in the media and reject it. This unfortunately wasn't the case. The racial slurs against Indians in the workplace seemed to get more frequent. On another note, having dealt with over a few hundred people over the course of my trip, how was I to differentiate the rude people from the racist ones? Surely it's possible that a racist prick who is aware of the taboo associated with racism would treat poorly people from different backgrounds and use another excuse to cover the real racist inside. I have no doubt in my mind that I came across a few of these people.

What is love?

2010-03-07T18:05:00.004+11:00

"Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more" - Haddaway

Love is an excuse used to make Bollywood movies. Love is what teenage boys say they feel about a girl when they want to get their dicks wet. Love is for the insecure. Love is what Middle Easten girls tell themselves they're in to escape their oppressive parents. Love is for those who can't live by themselves. Love is for those who have a superiority complex. Love is for those who have an inferiority complex. Love is for parents who have given up on themselves. Love is for those who can't rely on themselves. Love is for those who want more money than they make. Love is for the vain. Love is inconvenience. Love is a joke. Love is what the faithful claim God is, to keep their faith. Love is what abused women tell themselves to stay with their brutal husbands. Love is what men tell themselves to stay with their fat wives. Love is the wrong word to use when you only like. Love is not a heart, nor a heart-shaped picture. Love is not an arrow. Love is not found by cupid. Love is for the obsessive compulsive. Love is for stalkers. Love is for those who don't have claustrophobia.

Collided

2010-03-02T23:09:00.002+11:00

The way you move ain't fair you know. Why do you fluctuate so much when nothing has changed? You give me message but these lines don't follow. When I decide to dip in, you dip further. Please spare me the moodiness, and the public humility. Stop digging in my pocket. I have given most of my life for you, and I'm not seeing returns to justify what I have given. You care too much about what other people think. Why can't you do what you tell me you're going to do? Why do I have to guess so often?
Try for once, for me, for everyone, to stop pretending to know where you're going. Other lines. They lay infront of me, yet all I can see is red. You throw numbers at me, giving me deadlines and triggers, but I can't communicate to you. My numbers, my triggers, my deadlines. They never match yours. When I make a right move, you complain to the rest that I'm not doing enough. What is it that I have to do to make you make me happy?
Consequently, subsequently, however, therefore, furthermore, in additon, also, and they all count. Ensure, try, could, likely don't. Should you decide, I will. Should you not decide, I won't. Options. There are always options without any definitive answer. Option 1, I'll find someone. Option 2, it may be you. Option 3, stick your bum up a tree. It appears that that doesn't work. Communicate, tell me what you're doing. If you don't, I'll assume you've done it right. If it's not right, then you're in trouble. Talk to me. Take me to coffee. I should stop drinking coffee. Long blacks are just too harsh on me. In the event of, it may be that, it appears to be, in the case of emergency, make sure you flee. To the amount of, approximately, circa 1966. Manage, lead, be proactive, take control, show mature behaviour. Not robust. What's the opposite of robust? Loose? Let loose then. Drink tea. Brahmi tea, white tea, green tea, tension tamer. Chamomile. Lactose. Milk. Strategy. The four pillars. What a policy! Dissolve me to anonymity. On Identity. Does that even rhyme? Mime. The Life of Pi. Cherry pie. Honey Pie. Wild Honey Pie. Solitude, gratitude, attitude, multitude, substitute me for you. One Hundred Years of Solitude. Conduct a valuation of this situation, and tell me where's the appropriation? Is that appropriate? Sound, good, fair. Share. What are you doing if you're not sharing? Caring, staring, mailing, tailing. Stalker. Talker. Tripper. Day Tripper. Stripper.

The Gaddafi Interview

2010-02-21T21:32:00.001+11:00

I really wonder what everyone thinks of this...

http://www.sbs.com.au/dateline/story/watch/id/600321/n/The-Gaddafi-Interview

This Finger

2010-02-16T22:46:00.002+11:00

Can you take me back to where I belong? Can you take me back?
Can you take me back to where I came from? Brother, can you take me back?
Can you take me back?

I turned on my computer, waited for the exhilarating Windows welcome sound clip to ring in my ears, and clicked on Internet Explorer. As I clicked the left-mouse button, I felt like my index finger had turned into a slimey, slithering, gooey mini-gremlin. It snatched itself out of my hand and right before my eyes, while the stump on my hand started bleeding profusely and spraying the red gunk on the monitor, it started moving. The gremlin crawled on the wonderfully varnished cedar desk until it reached what must’ve felt like a cliff. Without respite, the hairy worm popped off like a cork from a champagne bottle. So mighty was the jump, that if I had told an Olympic diver about it, they would have gaped their eyes at me.

I don’t know any Olympic divers, and I always thought that winning gold for jumping off a bouncy platform was just a bit too much. If I were to be a diver, I would have preferred to be one of them who jump off real cliffs. I would float in fresh air having leaped from a real rock and wondered if this jump would be my last. But I could never be a diver. I am afraid of heights.

The little hairy mongrel landed on the floor on its head (formerly known as its nail) and toppled over to its hairy side, before rotating itself to the meaty side. Where was it going? I did not have a clue. My apartment is so small that even the little hairy bugger, now feeling what it’s like to be free for the first time, would feel claustrophobic. Then without a moment of hesitation, it proceeded to crawl. I watched what used to be my right hand’s phalanges bop up and down as it manoeuvred across the carpet. For a moment, mid-way through a complete step, it made a triangular shape not dissimilar to a pyramid, before pushing away with the severed fleshy part and moving forward. What a sight.

The trail of blood extended from the mouse pad, to the edge of the desk, to a splatter on the carpet as it culminated in a thicker consistency closer to where my severed finger slowly crawled. The little bugger kept crawling. I lost sight of it as it moved out of my room into the lounge room.

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

2010-01-31T01:18:00.005+11:00

I bought this book after I realised that my library barely contained any books written by female authors. There was a hand-written staff review on a small sticker on the shelf where the book was standing. Something about the book being the author's only novel and that it was a beautiful read. Now that I'm finished with the book, I'd say that it is beautifully written, but it is by no means a beautiful read.

In a nutshell, the subject of the book is mental illness. The disease is presented to us through the eyes and mind of Esther Greenwood, a college student who is aspiring to become a writer. The novel begins with a healthy Esther experiencing work in what appears to be a publishing house, along with other selected students. Esther's observations about her surroundings are vivid, and she often takes the time to dissect the situations that capture her mind. This was interesting, because as a male reader (who appears to unintentionally prefer works by male authors), I experienced reading the mind of a woman for the first time!

Anyway, the narration is presented in a way that you can tell the author was a poet. The pace of the prose, whether it was to introduce a new character or a key fact, is presented in such a way that left me wondering how such a bitter and difficult subject can be treated so gently. By the time Esther is at her worst and having suicidal thoughts, I wondered when exactly she got to this stage and whether a single incident caused her downfall. Plath definitely followed the 'do but don't explain' rule with this book. Most of the book is about Esther describing her observations and actions without complaining about how she feels and why she feels the way she does. I interpreted this as a way of Plath telling us one of the most important often-misunderstood characterstics of depression, that there is no 'why' that explains depression. Sometimes, it just 'is'.

The book is a great read and I am glad that I came across it. It is not a light read and care should be taken if you decide to open it when you're not in the best of moods. On a final note, I was sad to read that the novel was a semi-autobiography, and that Sylvia Plath committed suicide herself a few years after the release of this book. It was even more heartbreaking to read that her son committed suicide last year after struggling with depression himself.

An Abusive Father in a Car Park

2010-01-03T15:23:00.005+11:00

Less than an hour ago, I witnessed a very upsetting scenario in the car park of the shopping centre I go to on weekends.

A man was abusing the shit out of his wife, in front of their two little kids (or maybe one little kid).

My initial thought was like a typical passive person living in what some call a city. I got into my car, and I thought I'd let it be. But then I figured if this man doesn't realise that the world is watching him and that his kids will never forget this moment, who knows what he will be up to later (maybe next week, or even tomorrow).

I just cared about the kids. You know, it's not nice when you grow up knowing that your dad was an asshole when you were a child.

Then I thought, here is one opportunity where I can do something to make a difference, and if I let it go I'll regret it (maybe not forever, but for a little while at least).

So I drove around where the dad was abusing his wife (she was standing, head hunched between shoulders as he was hovering over her and yelling). She didn't say a word back, and was looking inside the car (the car's door was open and she was standing in the space between the door and the seat).

I pulled my window down. I thought I said what I did calmly (but I may have been a little nervous and most likely scared of how the dad will react if I interrupted him).

'Hey man, this is not the place to do whatever you're doing. Your children will never forget what you're doing just now, and they'll grow up thinking their father was a fuckin' idiot. Is that what you what?'

The man looked at me awkwardly (like he just realised where he was and what he was doing) and said, 'don't swear at me.'

'I will swear at you, because you have no self-respect. Maybe you should get some self-respect and think about what you're doing. Your children will never forget this.'

At this point he moved away from his wife, who was still looking down. And then he immediately turned back to her to say 'see what you've done!' (I didn't hear exactly what he was saying, but I have no doubt in my mind that it was just that.)

As he was about to complete whatever it is he was saying, I yelled out, 'stop! it's not her fault that i'm here. It's your stupid fault for making a scene in front of everyone. Just stop!'

He pulled back again and walked around to the driver's seat.

At this point the wife looked at me and said, 'that's enough. thank you.'

At the same time, the little two-year old who was just standing there the whole time looked at me and gave me a huge wave and a smile!

It will be a very long time before I forget that smile.

The New Life by Orhan Pamuk

2009-12-20T19:08:00.003+11:00

It's been a few hours since I finished reading the last page of Orhan Pamuk's The New Life, and I feel like I know everything, and that there's nothing to know. On the surface, the book is a post-modern mess. As you read through the first few chapters, you start questioning the honesty and genuineness of the narrator. I don't think many will disagree with the absurdity of someone declaring that reading a book changed one's life, and then going on a nonsensical journey to seek the truth in that book, only to end up committing a crime to eliminate his lover's previous partner.

The plot itself has still not sunk in for me but I'll give it a go. A young boy (Osman) reads a book that influences him strongly. At college, he meets a beautiful girl (Janan) who introduces him to her partner (Mehmet) who has read the same book. Osman then witnesses the assassination of Mehmet, which no one else seems to notice. This raises Osman's suspicions of a wider conspiracy so he goes to find Janan, and together they embark on an indefinite journey around Turkey to meet people who are involved with the book. While they are journeying, they watch Western movies on buses, and witnesses many brutal accidents. Somehow, they end up in a town where a man by the name of Doctor Fine lives. Doctor Fine believes that his son (Mehmet - the same Mehmet?) died as a result of him reading the book. So to stop this 'conspiracy', he appoints several spies (all with codenames of brands of watches) to find, monitor, and assassinate all those who read the book. At the same time, while reading all the reports written by the spies to Doctor Fine, Osman realises that Mehmet had not died. So to rid the world of Mehmet and ensure that Janan does not meet him again, Osman goes on his own quest to kill Mehmet, which he does mid-way through the novel. The novel ends many years later, when Osman goes back to his main mission to find out what the book means.

Underlying the absurd storyline are themes that are often considered Pamuk's trademarks such as the issue of East vs. West. The main characters in the book spend a lot of time on buses watching replays of Western movies. Is this perhaps, Pamuk telling us that we (as Middle Eastern people) spend most of our lives in vehicles controlled by others, while we passively watch the West develop and create for itself a core identity? Throughout the novel, the identify theme is reinforced in other ways. For example, there are several references to products and brands that change from being 'local' to 'mass-produced'. There are also times where the narrator travels from dark little towns, and returns to the lands of billboards, burgers, and Coca-Cola. On a metaphysical level, perhaps this all means that what we're reading is not really a story about a young delusional man who falls in love with a girl and then goes on a mission to kill her former lover. What Pamuk is trying to say is that Turkey is so lost in the middle of modernisation and Westernisation that it has really assassinated itself despite all the attempts of maintaining its ancient identity. One particular quote that has stayed with me from the book is to the effect of - if maintaining old things to keep our identity is called enlightenment, then flea markets should be full of it!

At times, it felt like Pamuk was talking to us directly, telling us how he likes to read books and how prefers to write. These passages become more apparent towards the end of the book, where there is a noticeable jump in time from when the narrator was a teenager to 'now' - where he is married and has a daughter. I personally found these passages engaging, but there was a sense of detachment that came with them as there was a subtle shift in voice from a confused and irritated narrator to a calm, and focused voice.

Despite the changing circumstances of being 'normal' again, the narrator goes on a final road-trip, which brings the books to its morbid conclusion.

Overall, this is a book that you could read if you wanted to have a deep and meaningful discussion with someone about the meaning behind the words, or if you have an interest in the issues of identity and absurdity. It's a short read, but by no means a light one.

The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov

2009-11-20T20:21:00.004+11:00

When I think about characters depicted in the history of religion, the character of the devil and the mystery surrounding him (or her) is by far most fascinating. For one, there is no agreement on where he comes from. Was he a creation of God that had to exist to oppose what is good and just and to create a universal balance that must be maintained in order for life to be what it is? Or was he a little jinni that refused to bow down to a human, and was cursed to eternity by the Almighty?

In the way he behaves, does the devil target individuals and societies and rummages through them creating havoc and chaos? Or is he, like God, closer to us than our own veins?

Can he be spoken to like God is prayed to? If so, does he answer our pleads the way God (some claim) answers our prayers?

And what powers does this devil have? Can he start a fire or cause an accident by flicking a switch when no one is looking? Or does he whisper in our ears convincing us that all that is good, is really bad?

The Master and Margarita begins with a conversation between an editor of a literary magazine and a poet. They briefly dicuss the existence of God before they are gently yet awkwardly interrupted by a stranger, who in turn gets slightly agitated that literary pair do not believe in God, or the devil for that matter. From then on, readers are introduced to some of the most charismatic characters in literature. The stranger and his retinue create some of the most memorable chaotic moments, and wreak havoc across Moscow in fascinating and mesmerising ways.

While the stranger and his friends are visiting Moscow, the author takes us back to the moments before the execution of Jesus. He introduces us to Pontius Pilate, the Roman procurator who approved, against his own will, the execution of Jesus. In between the two storylines, he subtly weaves in a third about a lady called Margarita and her lover, the master.

The seriousness of the three stories is told with such a light-hearted, and at times hilarious, prose that I constantly had to remind myself that there is a deeper meaning behind the highly entertaining plot. In one way, the book can be treated as a page-turner. I am sure you will love Behemoth when you meet him, and the love story will make you feel all fuzzy on the inside. In other ways, the book serves as a reminder of how one had to write in an oppressed society. If you were an opinionated writer who was reluctant to lose their life, and Stalin was the leader of your country, you too would find ways to offend without appearing as if you were offending. It just so happens that Mikhail Bulgakov was an amazing writer who told an excitingly bitter story without appearing too bitter, and produced one hell of a book.

The one thing I love about the Russian books that I have read including this one, is their inherent tendency to sympathise with a character who is not necessarily good. In portraying evil, they always show a side of a character or introduce an event that makes you think that maybe this one time, evil was the right way of addressing it. The grey lines between good and evil are quite bold in Russian literature, and this book is the best example of that.

Of course, like most great books, there are tens (if not hundreds) of themes and symbols throughout the book. Having fun picking them out!

Swimming Tigers and Odd Dreams

2009-11-07T23:44:00.003+11:00

I'm floating in clear blue waters. I'm not in an ocean or a lake, but what appears to be an infinite swimming pool. How could the water be so blue and clear?

I'm on my back, and the sky is looking bluer than ever. There is a sense of calm and serenity around me. A beach ball was being tossed around somewhere. I couldn't tell you how far the beach ball was from me because I can't really remember. Maybe there wasn't a beach ball after all. But something in the back of my mind tells me that there was a beach ball being tossed around, and that something is also telling me that if I omit this piece of information, what
was about to happen won't happen. But now that I have told you about the beach ball, whatever was meant to happen as a result of me telling you about the beach ball is bound to happen.

I'm starting to realise that I am not by myself in this infinite pond. I can spot three or four tigers floating around me. I can't see their faces, just their backs. In fact, to be precise, I remember seeing the backs of the tigers as if I were a camera hanging off a helicopter looking down at the pond. All I could see was floating pieces of skin with bumps indicating spines, and still no faces. The colour of the tigers was dark orange with black stripes. If there was a helicopter, and I was on that helicopter staring down at the tigers and the blue water, I'd think it a marvellous scene. But I am not on the non-existent helicopter, and I am feeling uneasy about the tigers. Something tells me they are not the friendly type.

Maybe they're not even tigers.

I'm holed up in a small room and there is lots of shooting happening outside. At some point in time I was running infront of a train in the dark. There may be someone with me but I can't really remember. I can feel sweat slowly forming on my skin and notice that this place is lacking air. Why is it so hot all of a sudden? And what happened to the infinite blue pond?

I woke up more groggy than usual. Nothing made sense.

My thoughts on Catch-22 by Joseph Heller

2009-10-31T15:24:00.002+11:00

"Well, do you know what you are? You're a frustrated, unhappy, disillusioned, undisciplined, maladjusted young man!"

I just finished reading Catch-22 by Joseph Heller, and before I start reading The Master and Margarita, I want to write a brief piece about what I think of Catch-22, a book often described as a 'cult classic' by critics.

At the beginning, the book didn't click with me. First, it's a war book, and I'm not a big fan (of wars, or wartime books). Second, too many characters were thrown at me and I found that connecting to them was difficult. Third, I felt it was 'too American', which I later came to appreciate as the book was released post World War 2 predominately to an American audience, and served as a response to wartime books that glorified war as a noble concept.

So why was I determined to finish it? Yossarian, of course. The protagonist of Catch-22 is a young man by the strange name of Yossarian who is constantly attempting to escape the increasing number of flying missions by diving in and out of insanity. What is so appealing about Yossarian, is that he is constantly referred to as deranged, crazy, and disillusioned. Yet, as a reader (and a disillusioned person, perhaps), found that the simple excuses he gave to escape war were quite valid. For example, when asked why he doesn't want to fly any more missions, Yossarian replies, 'because they want to kill me!'. Isn't that a valid reason to not go to war? I thought it was.

Being someone who works in a sector that is completely immersed in bureaucracy, where what matters most is ego and reputation, I found the bitter themes of the book frustrating. Yossarian's commanders demand from his group to maintain a 'tight bombing pattern' only because a picture of the bombing would look good in the papers (as opposed to destroy a target effectively). Also throughout the book, Yossarian's Colonel keeps raising the number of flying missions of his group, putting their lives on the line, only to please his superiors.

To appreciate the themes of the book (and despise them), I had to draw a link to my experiences (a weak link in this case, but relevant nontheless). Just think about the number of times you had to deliver a project bigger (not necessarily better) than the previous one, only because the previous project was run by someone that your boss was competing with? How many times were you told to omit data from a report only because it 'looked better' on one page and not two. Ah! The frustration!

At the end of the day, most of us read books to escape our mundane reality, not to affirm it. I enjoy reading books that oppose and challenge my views and offer me an opportunity to change my ideas. With Catch-22, I found myself sighing in anger and frustration at the bitterly comical reality that it presented, and wished that I had opted for another classic that didn't raise my blood pressure with every page.

Overall, does it deserve the 'classic' status it has? I think so, mainly because it was the first of its kind at the time, and challenged views that glorified war. Also, Yossarian is a timeless character that most of us would relate to in any situation when we've just had enough.

The question that it sitting at the back of my head at the moment is, would this book be so great if it were released today?

It sucked - Bahrain that is

2009-07-04T12:04:00.003+10:00

I feel like enough time has passed since my last visit to Bahrain to write a fair description of what I thought of the country. The island has a way of mesmerising you while you're there and tempting you with its easiness and comfort. Add to that the emotional roller-coaster you go through when talking to family and long-lost friends and you may think that it's the best place in the world.

However, a couple of months later and having been to more than a couple of exciting new places down under, I feel like I'm able to see more clearly where Bahrain sits in my head. Basically, the place sucks.

Starting with the roads and traffic, the planning and condition of the roads are disasterous, and whether this is the reason why everyone drives like a maniac is yet to be investigated. Why two or three cars pass a red light every time one comes on is beyond me! This apparently happens so often that the cars at the front on the other side of the road who have the green light, stay put for longer to ensure that no one smashes into them. This in turn leads to all the cars behind the first car that has a green light to get frustrated and start going nuts with beeping and swearing. Watching people on the road in that country is really enough for any visitor to understand that entire underlying psych of the Bahrain society.

Did I forget to mention that after 30 minutes of constant rain, every road in the country was pretty much flooded?

When walking around malls (where else would you walk?), I couldn't help but notice that the majority of people strolling around were either over-weight or disturbingly under-weight. Whenever I spoke to someone about going to the gym or keeping fit, it wasn't the fitness that they seemed interested in. It was either about being thinner or bulking up (when it came to this, people freely discussed HGH, a growth hormone that is legal in Bahrain and illegal anywhere else). Anyway, the reason why people did what they did (i.e. slave away on a running machine, or pump iron) was to look good and not to feel good. Not once did I hear someone complaining about feeling unfit and unhealthy and wanting to improve their fitness level. I've always been one for feeling good first and then working on the looks, and I really think it doesn't work the other way around.

Now we come to the food, and this is the reason why many Bahrainis abroad love to fly back. The range of options when it comes to food is unlimited. You name it, those fat bastards have got it. Everything from taste and presentation, to service and pricing hits the right spot. Not once during my trip was I disappointed with the food. Except, I couldn't find a single place (apart from the traditional Gahwas in the Souq) that served traditional Bahraini food. But there was something suspicious about all the food in Bahrain, and it relates to the quality of the meats. I've been buying free-range meats and eggs for a while now, and maybe this explains why I felt the meats in Bahrain (particularly the chicken) felt 'empty' and 'rubbery'. Most chicken breasts have some level of fat in them and if you cook one yourself you'll find that you could pick out the meat in strands. But the chicken I had in Bahrain (apart from traditional roasts) felt like a 'block' that you couldn't really disintegrate and I don't understand why. Overall, I was very suspicious about the quality of underlying ingredients in meals I had at restaurants. And why on earth did I get hungry so soon after a massive meal?

Had my family and friends not been there, and had I not been invited to a lovely wedding by a lovely friend, I really wouldn't have bothered. Go to Turkey instead. I hear it's awesome fun.

I've been like fully sick busy..

2009-06-25T23:08:00.002+10:00

Yo Broz,

Jus wanted to let youse know that I've been full-on busy. Like yea mate, fully sick ey. I've been travellin' and shit, in a suit and all that ya know. Who woulda thought ey?

But I gotta say broz, gettin' on and off planes all week long is pain in the ass bro. Pack and unpack. My gym routine has hit the skitz too. I'm not like gettin' fully sick pumps like I used to. I lost 2 kilos since I been workin' on dis project. 2 fuckin' kilos bro. You knw how much guns is dat?

But yea, I been missin' writtin' ey. Youse no longer droppin' me no lines or shit. You think youse too good for me ey? Screw youse man. Can't see any good shit out dere.

Anywayz broz (and sistaz). Just wanted to say I miss youse all ey. Clubbin' is fuckin' awesome when youse are not in the same city for more than a week ey.

Alright broz. Jus wanted to send a shout to youse all. I'm alive and kickin'.

Getting Older - Fight or Quit?

2009-01-18T22:39:00.004+11:00

"What a disgrace it is for a man to grow old without ever seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable" - Socrates

There are things in life that we come to understand that we have missed out on when we realise that we are getting older. At the first point of realisation of that fact, we reach the fork in the road. At that intersection, one gets to decide between:

I must do something about it. I can't let my life go by and miss out on this.

or

It's too late. I'll never get to do it. I'll never get there. I need to move on and accept it.

The first option is the warrior option. You fight it out and refuse to accept things the way they are. While you may realise you are getting older and some things get harder to accomplish, you refuse to let it get to you. The extreme side of this is obvisouly a mid-life crisis. Panic and fear takes over and you realise that you really haven't done much in your life. So you go out, get your sports car, go on that cruise, or travel around the world.

The second option is the option for quitters (they think they're realists). You stick to what you know, probably become good at it, but also starting losing that glitter of brightness you used to have when you had ambitions. Cynicism creeps in, and all of a sudden everyone is calling you a grouch. Other things creep in at this point too, things like keeping fit. You start realising that there is no point in working out because you're too old to get fit, and besides, you're married.

For now, I choose option 1 to cover more than one aspect of my life. I always thought about the point of Socrates' quote mentioned at the top of this post. It is definitely a shame if one grows old without knowing the limits, strengths, and beauty of their body. So the first aspect is settled. I must get fit and healthy again. I must reach the peak that I reached in May 2007 again. I want to be able to see my abs again. That's the goal.

The second aspect of this is (ta da) work. I am growing too impatient for my own good and this must stop. While finding a source of inspiration is extremely difficult in the circumstances that I'm in, I must work on my self-motivating skills. There is no point in giving up and being satisfied with status quo when it comes to work. At least not five years into my professional career. Life is all about ups and downs. I accept that. But the downs must be managed, and they must be managed well.

While focusing on the two things mentioned above, I of course forget about everyone and everything else. That in itself needs fixing. Maybe in another post.

Ending the year - with a bang?

2008-12-24T21:07:00.002+11:00

Maybe in a parallel universe, I would have listened to the voice inside me and declared 2008 a difficult and miserable year for me. But this is not another dimension and I am who I am. This year was tough, and I survived (quite literally on one occasion). Did I learn anything? Yes. I did. I learnt a lot about myself. At what cost? White hair. Lots of it. So much white hair that my good friend and workmate exclaimed, "Odd, you didn't look like this at the beginning of the year!". No I didn't. Thanks for letting me know.

There are seven days to go and I must not let myself end the year on an angry note. I am angry and frustrated for two main reasons.

Reason 1:

2 months ago

Odd: "Boss, our approach to this project is complex. It is too much for the client to comprehend this plan and they specifically said they wanted a 'one-page' plan."

Boss: "Odd, they want these documents. They want all eight plans. We are just giving them what they want."

Yesterday

Client: "Look, I thank you for your work on the plans. But they are too grand for us. Too complex. We were really after a one or two-point plan. This is a bit too much for us."

Obviously I am furious. Annoyed. Pissed off. I'm pretty passive but when I know I'm on the right track, I get infuriated when a good idea is completely disregarded by someone who seems to grapple with the concept of efficiency. Why didn't he listen in the first place? Was it so hard to consider simplifying things in the first instance?

Reason 2:
I bumped into my ex a few days ago. Needless to say, I wasn't happy about seeing her around. In hindsight, the whole thing was a big waste of my time and I shouldn't have let it drag for as long as it did. If you don't love someone, you really shouldn't be with them. Why I stayed for so long is beyond even me. Okay, so it was convenient to have an introverted and boring partner while my head was deep down in accounting standards and examinations. The best option was to end it once I had completed whatever I was doing, which I did. So why am I pissed off?

I was a cold-hearted prick during the conversation and I even ended it with, "I hope I don't see you again... ever".

Then I remembered my very macrscopic friend telling me, "Why Odd? She didn't do anything so bad to let you rip into her like that! You broke up with her once you realised you are too different!". True that. But I do feel that I shouldn't waste a single second on someone who had already wasted almost one year of my life. Am I completely off the mark with my thoughts?

Where to now?
I'm off to a little holiday island for the next 10 days, where I will do whatever it takes to let loose. The same workmate who commented on the whiteness on my head very wisely said, 'Odd, when you get on that plane in a couple of days, forget about all of this!'.

I agree. It is time to let loose. Watch out.

Odd's Near-Death Experience

2008-12-15T23:41:00.005+11:00

So what does it feel like to get so close to death? I'm not good with detailed explanations but I'll try my best to share with you how I felt at the time.

We were driving towards a storm in a 4WD, 6 hours away from civilisation. The roads in the land were mostly graded sand. The rain had caused the sand to turn into slippery mud and shallow puddles of water had started appearing. At various points of the trip I had felt that the driver was going too fast for the conditions. When I stepped out of the car wreck, I thought we were driving "slowly, probably around 60km/h". The people driving in the 4WD behind us swore that they were driving at around 70km/h and were "definitely faster."

I'm not a big fan of cameras or photographs. But during this trip, I was unusually snap-happy. I had taken photos of every car, animal, signpost, and human I came across. Continuing in that fashion, 2 minutes before the rear right wheel lost grip on the road, I was taking a video of the rough terrain with my work's digital camera. For a place that is hardly touched by humans, someone or something with some sort of power was certainly putting on a show. Surely this place was not as foresaken as I thought when I first stepped on the red sand.

"Oh shit"

I heard the driver as soon as I decided to close my eyes for a quick snooze. The car felt wobbly, and before I knew it, I felt my head bang against something, and sand, lots of sand, flying in through what was a windshield only a few seconds ago.

In hindsight, it all happened very slowly. I remember thinking, "we weren't going so fast so the worse thing that could happen is if the car tips over and lands gently on its side. We'll all be able to climb out of my door."

When I felt sand splatter on me I remember thinking that this was more serious than just a tip to the side. This was it. I was gone. I was going to go. I was definitely dying. Wasn't there something I was meant to say before dying?

Then things went blank for a bit. It was a 'white' blank. The 'white' blank stayed for a microsecond or two. I was expecting someone to greet me on the other side. But there was no one. There's no one on the other side. I remember thinking that as soon as I became aware that I was still alive.

Was I injured? I didn't know. I could move my legs and arms. How did I come out of this without a broken bone?

"Is everyone okay?" I screamed out. Everyone was fine. "Then let's get the fuck out of here!" and I opened the door and stepped outside.

The lady who was driving in the car behind us came running. "Everyone's ok. Don't worry, we're all fine."

Once everyone was out of the car. The lady offered me a bottle of water. I could see that she had a pack of ciggies in her pocket.

"No thanks. I'll just have a ciggie."

Managing Expectations ... Not Really Easy

2008-11-25T21:48:00.003+11:00

"Odd, do you have a minute?"

Uh oh. Here we go again. The guy has been on my case for the past few days.

I walk behind the boss and enter a small meeting room. We both take a seat.

"Yes boss?"

"Odd. Don't ever say that any project you work on is easy."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing is easy! Everything is hard, and you try your best to get it done. You see what I'm trying to do?"

"Umm... setting expectations?"

"I am managing expectations. If you tell the head honcho that a job is easy, and we deliver, then we've only met expectations. Because everyone knows that the job is easy! But if you say that the job is challenging, and then you complete it, then you've beaten expectations. Besides, something can go wrong in any job. How will you explain an unintended stuff-up when you've declared to everyone that a job is easy?"

"Hmmm..good point about the stuff-up thing...but the job was actually eas.."

"No it wasn't. It was tough, and we managed to get it done."

"Fine. It was tough. Complex. Difficult. Hard. Fine. Nothing is easy!"

"Good. And Odd, your study lifestyle is outrageous..."

"Boss! There's only two weeks to go before the exam. Let me have my moment. Besides, I already said that I'm taking next year off. No more study! What am I going to do without study?"

"Work!"

"Absolutely NOT! I will enrol in any night-class I can find to avoid being at work for long hours."

"You need to find a balance somewhere."

"I don't think working more is a balance."

To be continued...

A Day in the Life

2008-11-22T21:53:00.004+11:00

"Woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head, found my way downstairs and had a smoke. Somebody spoke and I went into a dream..."

On Friday, I bought a beautiful cookbook by Neda Afrashi called The Persian Kitchen, and once I laid my eyes on the Tahchin recipe, I was determined to cook the rice and chicken 'cake'. So I woke up today feeling good. Stepped outside and realised that 15 degrees celcius in summer was more than I could ask for. Thank you God! That means for the next few days at least, I will not suffer symptoms of the dreadful hayfever.

So anyway. I got into my little car, and drove to what some people call city. I walked around one of the shopping malls and came across a video game store. Is Mirror's Edge out? Yes it is! Woohoo! I get to play a first-person game where you don't have to shoot anything. Great! So I bought it. As I was stepping out, I checked the TV series aisle for my favorite show - Quantum Leap. I had been thinking about watching the entire series for some time now, but could never fit it in. Season 1 was in stock, so I bought a copy!

On my way to the car, I bought a few things you need to make Tahchin. Youghurt, rice, butter, onion, and carrot. Awesome. Everything I needed for the recipe was in place. I impatiently drove home, and started mixing ingredients up. I finished preparing the recipe and even used a kitchen towel to cover the lid of the pot in which the Tahchin was cooking. Talk about being authentic. Yea baby. I'm real.

So while the rice and chicken cake was cooking, I plugged in Mirror's Edge and started playing. Wow - this is so awesome. How cool is this game... wait... uh... I don't feel so good. I feel flushed... I'm sweating, and feeling extremely nauseous. Must be that salad I had for lunch (I always have salad for lunch on Saturdays). Uh. I need to lay down a bit. Ooh I feel much better now. I can play the game again. After three minutes of playing... uh... I don't feel good anymore. Could it be that this game is making me sick!? After a bit of googling - I found out that it is! HOW ANNOYING!

So me being me, I started googling how I can avoid feeling sick. Lo and behold - the medication I use for my hayfever can be used to limit symptoms of nausea! I'm in again, yes baby! Okay, so maybe taking a few pills to play a video game is a bit extreme. But then again - I am extreme.

By that stage, the Tahchin was ready. A quick taste test proved that I am the greatest chef in the world. Shame that no one was there to testify for it. So I plugged in the Quantum Leap DVD and enjoyed the very first episode of the TV show I used to watch on Thursdays on Channel 55. I initially thought it may be the case that everything will appear tacky and lose its flavour. But no. The show looks good, and the acting is great. Above all, it has the coolest storyline and premise ever!

At 10:13PM, I realised that this was the most normal day I've had in a very, very long time.

Now what?

2008-11-20T00:19:00.002+11:00

I made a mistake, and I know that it is hard for many to admit that. But I made a mistake.

About eight years ago, I laid out a personal plan for my education and career. Two weeks ago, I declared 'Mission Accomplished.' Now what?

Does this mean that from now on, I'll have to submit myself to the mundane? To stop treating life as a circus and start paying attention to things that were completely off the radar over the past few years?

I had been so distracted for so long that I cannot even remember the last time I had a reflective moment such as this one. How could I have not foreseen this? And what do I need to do to fix this? A post-mission mission?

Is this what post-pregnancy depression feels like?

In normal circumstances, you would think that someone my age and background would declare a 'ready to get married' status and ask mom for the 'catalogue' of local willing brides-to-be. That, let me make very clear, is not even an option at this stage. So much more bachelorhood to go through, I can't just give it all up. I didn't spend the past 20 or so years studying my ass off to give it all up (or even share it!) with someone else.

Wow, how selfish have I become!

What do I do now? What do I do what do I do what do I do? I don't know! I've never not known!

Maybe I should travel. Do I need to travel? Where to? Is there anything exciting to do out there? Like what? Who am I going to take with me?

Maybe I should just pack my bags and go home. Hah. Good one.

An Odd Take on the Credit Crunch

2008-10-10T23:47:00.003+11:00

It is 2003.

There are three sheep in the farm. One carries inedible, infected meat. The other carries somewhat edible, but mostly tasteless meat. And the third carries what the rest of us know as good meat.

The farmer knows that something is wrong with two of his sheep, but he doesn't exactly know what side effects will be suffered by people who eventually may eat the meat of his sheep.

Soon after, the farmer realises that he cannot sell his sick sheep in the markets. The only value he's got is in his good sheep, and he only has one of those. So he goes back home and starts crunching some numbers, and realises that if he sells packaged meat and uses a mixture of all three sheep in each package, that he will get most value out of his investment. He thinks that if there is some good meat in the package, that most people will be able to handle the packaged meat without being too sick from the infected meat in the package.

So he kills his sheep, chops them up, and mixes them all together. He starts packaging the meat, and calls it Premium meat. Before too long, the whole world is interested in his packaged meat and the farmer sees massive benefits coming out of this demand. So he keeps raising sheep, despite knowing that most of them are sick and inedible.

Since the inception of the farmer's idea, packaged meat has been distributed around the world. Every curry shop, kebab house, and gourmet restaurant around the world stocks some of this Premium meat.

They say it takes a few days for a stomach bug to take hold of a person, but Premium meat has a special characteristic. The body absorbs it slowly so it takes it around 3 to 5 years for everyone to feel it.

Once the bug catches on, hospitals will be overcrowded and many Governments will not be able to sustain the demand for health services. Many people will not be able to work because the bug has weakened them. The entire world will slow down.

Ironically enough, the only countries that will survive are the countries which the farmer refused to supply in the first place. He had believed that they were evil.

One Day

2008-09-03T22:48:00.002+10:00

With or without you
I do not know
So know this

When I think of you
And the times we could have
My heart borrows a flower
Blows calmness into it
And releases it to the world

When I think of me
And the times I can have
I think of all the others
Who may borrow my heart
Only to give it back

But one day, maybe one day
I'll wake up to myself
And know that you are one
Like none other
Who knows when that will be

It may never be

Would this freak you out?

2008-06-21T14:08:00.001+10:00

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,23893644-13762,00.html

Odd's Prayer

2008-04-13T03:01:00.002+10:00

Oh Lord,

For the rest of the year
Give me strength
To be less accepting
And more demanding

Why?

2008-03-30T17:28:00.002+11:00

I'm obsessed with why, so much that my cousins still tease me about them calling me Mr. Why when I was little. I asked why at every possible statement or command that was thrown at me, and it soon became a habit that annoyed the hell out of everyone around me. But why is what made me who I am today, and why is why I am where I am today.

But because we're all a bit older, we can't use a small word such as why and expect to get away with it. We all have to sound much smarter than we actually are. So instead of using why, some of us use evaluate. Don't get me wrong. I don't think the two are the same, but they are quite similar. For example, would you think that the two statements below are the same?

Evaluate and explain your current situation.

Why are you who you are today?

To respond to either of the above would require a psychological stroll in very similar parks in the mind. So for me, why means evaluate and explain, sort of.

Anyway, as I was cleaning my room today, it occured to me that I had never justified my actions to anyone, especially myself. Obviously, I believe all decisions that I made are justifiable, and at the time of making those decisions, I am sure I went through a comprehensive evaluation process. But that process was never documented, and I think given my situation, it is extremely important for me to justify my behaviour and my actions to myself.

So what I am going to do over the next few posts, is justify all aspects of my life. Why do I live where I live? Why do I work where I work? Why do I invest where I invest? Why do I date who I date? Why did I break up with whoever I broke up with? Why did I buy whatever I bought? Why did I cook whatever I cooked?

Like most people, I believe I am always right, and that the decisions I make are always the right thing to do at the time. Do I have regrets? Maybe one or two. But I've never lost sleep over them.

Unlike most people, I really question the above paragraph because I know that I can't always be right, and maybe if I go through all of this justification process publicly (i.e. think out loud), then I may be able to identify gaps in my logic, learn from them, and give myself some assurance that I won't repeat those 'mistakes' again. This should be interesting and may finally give me the incentive to be more dedicated to this blog.

Let's see how I go.

What next?

2008-03-21T23:20:00.002+11:00

Do you ever question whether you're doing the right thing at the moment? Are you being fair to yourself? Is your occupation something you are proud of?

I find it hard to accept that I was born and raised to sit in front of a computer for most of my adult life. For this to be the defining characterstic of my youth is unacceptable, and quite repulsive. Do you think that in many years to come, I'd want to tell my children that I was someone who worked for an accounting firm for most of his life, and share office jokes with them as if they were heroic acts I witnessed when I was younger? It doesn't sound so appealing. Does it?

I confess that the reason for the majority of my decisions (up until now) were money and survival. I couldn't afford being a slob at school because I needed a scholarship. I couldn't afford not doing well at university because I needed a job. I couldn't afford not having a well-paying job because I needed the money. I couldn't not afford not working hard because I needed to keep my job and to save up.

But now things are different. I no longer need to do things to survive. If I work part-time and play video games for the rest of the time, I'll be fine. If I get fired tomorrow, I'll be able to get a new job by the end of the week. The only things I need to do to survive involve things like looking after my health by eating well and exercising. Everything else is optional.

Which brings me to where I am in my mind at the moment. I believe it is time for me to start doing things that I enjoy and live the last 5-6 years of my 20s doing things that will be memorable, and unique. As an example, I always loved cooking. Everything about it fascinated me since I was very young. I would spend hours and hours watching mum cook all my favorite dishes. I always asked about the interaction of spices with each other. How much turmeric did she add in comparison to cumin? Why did she always sprinkle a tiny bit of cinnamon on anything she cooked? and how much water did she sprinkle on the onions to caramalise them properly?

So for the last couple of days, I've been searching for culinary schools around the world. I want to take a break from all this accounting stuff for a bit, and take up a completely different profession. I believe that I will do this by the end of this year. If I don't, then there is always next year. But it has to happen before I throw the towel in and head back home.

Bye bye, Odd the Chartered Accountant. Welcome, Chef Odd.

Awkwardness (2)

2008-03-09T02:42:00.002+11:00

Let me tell you a story.

You're a young lady going through university. A young man in your class starts to show interest in you, and before you know it, you're madly in love with him. You get married, and you start feeling secure about yourself. You graduate, get a job. He graduates, decides he doesn't need a full time job like everyone else. He thinks that working as a kitchen-hand, despite having two degrees, will make him better off.

You're crushed. How could the man of your dreams be so irresponsible? How could he go through uni only to end up washing dishes? And where did all those sweet words and gifts go?

You find out that he too was insecure back then. But once he locked you in, he realised he doesn't need to work as hard anymore. After all, he had achieved his life's objective by getting married. You on the other hand, you're working long hours to keep the family floating.

Out of nowhere, a boy appears that reminds you of him when he was younger and ambitious. This boy appears to be nice. He laughs with you, goes to have coffee with you, and the conversations with him over lunch are refreshing. Before you know it, you're being a tad too friendly to this boy.

This boy, having sensed your insecurity, decides to completely disregard your existence. He despises you because now that he knows that people of your like exist, he is worried that he might end up with someone like you.

Awkwardness

2008-03-01T00:02:00.005+11:00

For the past couple of months, I have been working on a desk next to her. She is married to a guy from a different background to hers, and sometimes that is the topic of our conversations. She also knows I am with someone. Well, that's what she knows. What I know is a totally different story. I know that I may be, technically, possibly, if you think about it this way, then yes I am with someone, but anyway.

We go for coffee during breaks, and sometimes catch up for lunch like workmates do. She talks about her husband, and I talk about my definitely maybe. Yesterday, on our way to lunch, we started talking about all the restaurants we've gone to with our partners.

"My husband and I like to go to Tino's. It's really good."
"Oh cool. Definitely maybe and I go to Chino's. We think it's good too."
"Oh oh, have you been to Pino's?"
"No, but we'll try it sometime." or maybe I said, "we should try it sometime."

Whatever my reponse to her question was, it was obvious that the 'we' was me and my definitely maybe. But I guess I was wrong.

The next day, she asked if I was free for coffee, as workmates do. I said sure. On our way to the coffee shop, we had a rather strange conversation.

"Hey... ummm..this might be a bit awkward but you know when I talked about Pino's yesterday, you said that 'we' should try it out sometime. What did you exactly mean?"
"I meant me and my definitely maybe."
"Oh, ok. This is awkward then. Because I thought you meant you and I."
"Umm.. no. Definitely not. I definitely meant me and definitely maybe."
"Oh. Jeez. This is awkward then. You're not gonna be too awkward about this are you?"
"No. Not really. I'm really good with awkward."

I made up some sort of an excuse, and ran back to the office. Three words have been on repeat in my mind since then.

What the fuck?

Today

2008-02-09T08:37:00.000+11:00

"Odd, do you wanna catch up to discuss your report?"

NO! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! MY RESULTS ARE COMING OUT IN 10 MINUTES. NO!

"Sure, now?"

"Yep. Come over"

Dammit!

"Okay"

"Alright, this is pretty good. The introduction is straight to the point, which is what we needed. You may need to do a bit more work on the scope because ..." la de da de da de da ....

"Ah good good. Yes, yes. I agree. Umm...I'll be back in a few seconds..."

So I step out of the boss' cubicle feeling all dizzy with more than a couple of butterflies in my stomach. Can't these people tell how freaked out I am? What if I fail? I'll be devastated. If I find out that I failed, will I come back to discuss the rest of the report? No way. Oh, and what if there are other people around the computer downstairs, it will be a bit embarrassing to be the only one who failed. Fuckers. That's six months of my life down the drain...

And if I pass? Ah! WELL NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. I mean, that was my last 'post-grad' exam ever. The last unit is just a big assignment. I mean, jeez. The strippers will be rich tonight if I pass... But oh... I did, at one stupid occasion, let out this horrendous promise.

"Oh God, if I pass this exam, I will stay away from girls for two weeks"

TWO WEEKS? What was I thinking? Maybe failing is not all that bad... well, no ... it is...

Fuck this. I don't care. I've been having nightmares about this for the past month and this is it. I'll walk to that machine without saying a word to anyone, stick in my candidate id and password, and be prepared for this moment of....truth.

The website is currently under a high amount of traffic. Please be patient while we restore operations.

FUCK YOU ASSHOLES. FUCK YOU TWENTY FUCKIN' TIMES. MAY THE SHORTEST, HAIRIEST DWARF WITH THE BIGGEST ...

Shit, I just clicked reload and it logged me in...shit shit shit shit shit... what is it with me and dwarves?

Module Results....click.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey man. Give us the good news..."
"Yea man, Steve and I passed, how did you go?"
"Uh.. it looks like I'll have to stay away from girls for two weeks."

Tomorrow

2008-02-07T23:30:00.000+11:00

Tomorrow will be a big day...

That's it. Thanks for stopping by.

The Laws of Odd

2008-01-30T21:55:00.000+11:00

The rules below apply to all things that exist on the face of this planet:

If you really want something, you will get it.
If you don't, then there is a reason why.
You only want things that are hard to get, yet attainable in some way.
Once you get what you want, you lose interest in it.
In some cases, you won't want that thing anymore.
Being poor sucks.
Being a rich asshole sucks more.
In life, you will come across people who are really good at what they do. 90% of those people will be arrogant assholes. If you happen to come across one that belongs to the 10%, stick to them for life, for you will learn many things from them.
Change is hard, regardless of what some may say.
Your occupation should bring in money. Fun is what you do when you're not at work.
It is more likely that Bahraini women come in a combo (i.e. the family). You either like the combo or not. Can't have the burger on its own.
On a Need vs. Want scale - friends sit on the middle and JUST lean towards Need.
People generally over-react.
Eating pomegranates will make you live longer.
You won't find a better 'herb' than ginger.

Setting SMART New Year's Resolutions

2007-12-25T22:40:00.000+11:00

Around this time every year, I sit back, disconnect from the world around me, and recap. I go through my previous year's 'new year's resolutions' and tick them off.

Thankfully, so far, so good. Out of 10 dot points last year, I accomplished 7 (with 1 pending exam results due February).

Before I ramble on about next year's resolutions, there are a few issues with last year's resolutions - they weren't SMART! In case you're wondering, SMART is:

Specific

Measureable

Action-oriented

Realistic

Timely

While in some cases they were good enough (i.e. pass all my exams), in other cases they sucked (i.e join the gym).

What was I joining the gym for? To lose weight? or to get fit? And when was I going to join the gym? for how long? If I just joined the gym, did I accomplish this point, or did I actually need to attend the gym regularly and work out? You see - a resolution like "join the gym" is crap. I should've been more specific.

So let's try to make this sound good - my 'health' resolution for 2008 will be:

- To do at least 1 cardio session and 1 weight-lifting session every week. For cardio, that means at least 20 minutes, and for weight-lifting - at least 45 minutes.

Now before all you health junkies get on your high horses and tell me that this is not enough (which I agree, it is not enough), this resolution is the minimum. So, hopefully, in the majority of the weeks of 2008, I will probably do 2 cardio sessions and 3 weight-lifting ones per week.

But if I set that as a 'resolution' - it will not be realistic. Which beats the purpose of setting resolutions. So let's stick to the 'realistic' resolution.

As for other things I'd like to cover in my list of resolutions, they are:
- Put together a recipe book of all the stuff I enjoy cooking - I usually cook by feel, but I need to introduce some system of measurement into things. Also, I would like to learn new recipes and new cooking techniques.
- Rock up to work earlier than 8:45. This is tough and I hardly get to make it. I hate being an insomniac, and I'm glad that my boss understands (or, at least I think he does).
- Pick up a hobby, or revive ones that I used to have. I realise that I spend a lot of my time during the weekend surfing the web for nothing - and I need to snap out of it. I need to use my time to do 'fun' things that are creative.

Note that the above resolutions are not SMART, but rather a good starting point. I will work on them as 2008 gets closer.

Private Sector Perks

2007-12-08T01:07:00.000+11:00

A while back, a certain blogger was carrying on about how much she wants to join the private sector. She mentioned something about working in a fancy office, wearing fancing clothes, and going to fancy places.

So when I was told about where I'm going for a planning day/Christmas party, the first thing that popped to my mind, along with "YEEEHA!", was that blogger's desire to join the 'private' world.

Not much more to say. La de da de. We're going there for a few days next week.

Nice house. Niiiiice.

Ah, I can just sink my head in that fluffy pillow and not leave the room for the rest of the day.

Oh woops, forgot about the couches outside. Maybe I'll jump around there for the hell of it.

Hmm, let's have a look and see what's for dinner. I think I'll go with ...

Trio of Duck- Roasted Breast, Leg Confit, Spring Roll- with Roasted Pears, Parsnip Mousseline & Maple/ Orange Jus

Whatever that is... and for dessert

Demi Tasse of Orange & Lemongrass Brulée with Apple & Banana Compote and a Pineapple Beignet

La de da de.

OCD (Odd Can't Dose-off)

2007-12-03T01:42:00.000+11:00

Odd can't sleep. Because:

He is stressed about the exam (day after tomorrow)
He had to memorise way too many things and his brain is clogged up.

Odd is wondering:

He got kicked out of so many classes in school, yet he still managed to get good marks. How did he do that?
If he fails this exam, it will be his first failed exam, ever.

Odd is thinking:

Doing things you wouldn't call enjoyable just to make a point is not cool at all.
One day I'll stop thinking about work and study at home.

Odd is missing:

Being normal
Not working till midnight most days of the week
Reading for entertainment
Watching movies
Cooking
Going out
Shopping
Seeing more than the 20 people he works with

Odd is feeling:

Annoyed
Unhealthy
Nerdy
Insomniac

Odd has written this entry the same way he has structured his exam notes.

Odd Thoughts (and a mild rant)

2007-11-27T23:04:00.000+11:00

Today I want to discuss the effect of the subprime credit crisis that is about to unleash its effects on international markets...

Actually, no, I don't want to talk about that. I'm sick of it, and I'm sick of the over-reacting sensitive twits that invest in share markets...

Three years ago I was in Bahrain, companies and banks were issuing new IPOs, and everyone went crazy... my friend decided to invest in every bloody IPO that popped up at the time... I told him it wasn't sustainable, there was hardly any value to anything those companies did, and did you really think they were going to distribute dividends? He didn't listen, all his money is now gone... Good. I told you so!

Also during that time, people were investing tiny amounts of BD100 in shares they knew nothing about. One case that sticks to mind (reported in GDN at the time) was this guy who said he wanted to invest some amount so that his family could buy a fridge. Did anyone offer this man any form of financial advice to explain to him how these things work? No. Poor man, he probably lost all his money too.

Anyway, away from there, fast forward to China last year, and voila! Just imagine the irrational investing of GCC people, and times that by the population of China. Disaster!

Anyway, why am I talking about work-related things on my so-called non-work blog? Moving right along.

------------------------------------------------------------------

She's about to leave soon, and it will be different. What will I do? Where will I go? I know what I'll do. NOTHING. I'll sit at home, buy myself a big-ass T.V., a PS3 and click the 'refresh' button on the stock market's graph from 10am to 4pm.

I will also go to work.

------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm sick of people complaining about Bahraini MPs being dumb, useless and hopeless. Did anyone ever consider that the people who voted them in are the Bahraini people?

------------------------------------------------------------------

Tax is the most draining thing I've ever studied. And by the way, do you think after all these hours I've put in - to learn every division, section, and subsection of Tax law - that I will throw them all away and move back 'home'? Dream on. It's not going to happen.

------------------------------------------------------------------

I had the privilege to watch an election unfold recently. It was one of the most civilised political events I had ever witnessed. People from Gov't and the opposition were sitting side by side on T.V. panels, talking about each other's parties in a very dignified manner. I was embarrassed to even imagine what it would be like in a 'Bahraini' election.

------------------------------------------------------------------

The Pomegranate Shop

2007-11-20T23:59:00.000+11:00

Everything is grey. You look out your window and the streets are bustling with people. A woman enters the Pomegranate shop with a young boy and you wonder whether he was brought up the same way as you. Is he a smart kid at school? Do girls like him? Will he raise a happy family when he grows up? You wonder whether his mother's treatment of him will be reflected in his treatment of his own children.

Why this boy? Why aren't you thinking about the woman herself? Does she have a husband? Is he alive? If the shopkeeper smiles at her will she consider running away with him?

And the shopkeeper, did he always want to sell pomegranates? Surely his parents wanted him to be a doctor or an engineer. And why is it so hot today?

You place the cigarette back between your lips and inhale deeply. Does everyone else think this when they have nothing to do? One day, you won't think as much, and that's when your life will begin. But it will be too late then. You will be old, grey, sad and miserably lonely.

You had spent your life asking questions that will never be answered.

Rove interviews Kevin Clash - Elmo

2007-11-19T00:28:00.001+11:00

You gotta see this!

When you can't even take care of the past...

2007-10-31T00:11:00.000+11:00

How do you expect the future to last?

- Julian Lennon

No Longer There

2007-10-21T15:19:00.001+10:00

Apologies from Odd

2007-10-19T17:44:00.000+10:00

You gotta forgive the dude. I mean, he's been quite beat up lately. You catch? Firstly, Dude is studying for something he is completely unfamiliar with (Tax law) - and secondly, dude has been working on a task which he has never tackled before (insolvency).

Yes it has been hard. Dude has had an unpleasant week telling people that they won't be receiving their salaries as usual. He has been abused by strangers (those same strangers turned all friendly and cuddly once things settled down!). So he needs time off serious things to do something not-so-serious. But he can't find the time for that, so he's writing this entry. It doesn't make sense. I know.

Another thing is, Dude likes being in the deep end of things. So while the experience itself was unpleasant, it did teach little Odd lots of things about how things work. You catch?

Dude and Odd are one.

Odd Personalities

2007-09-23T22:36:00.000+10:00

A long time ago, a scientist by the name of Jung came up with the concept of human personalities, and attempted to categorise them. He was quite spot on, but whatever he wrote made sense only to phsycologists. So a mother and daughter by the names of Myers and Briggs, came up with a way to "popularise" the concept. Sort of like the whole "Secret" phenomenon that is taking over the world these days.

The personality test they came up with was called MBTI - the Myers Briggs Type Indicator.

Let's talk about how people behave and process things.

According to the MBTI (look it up on Wikipedia) - you can be either:

- Introverted or Extrovered
- Sensing or iNtuitive
- Thinking or Feeling
- Judging or Perceiving

Rather than taking the proper test, which is available online in many unreliable versions, do a self-assessment, and tell me:

Are you an extrovert or an introvert?
This is not a matter of whether you like to socialise with people or not. It is more about where you get your energy from. Do you get energy from being around a lot of people, or do you recover by having alone time?

Do you rely on your senses or intuition when making decisions?
This criteria identifies whether you like to deal with facts and things that you see and feel around you, or whether you're a 'gutsy' person when making decisions.

Are you the thinking type or the feeling type?
Heart or mind?

Are you a judging person or a perceiving person?
The words used to identify this criteria are a bit obscure, so pay attention. Do you feel like you have all the time in the world to do whatever you like (Perceiving) or do you prefer to progress in life according to a specified plan (Judging)? Do you just go with the flow(P)? or do you prefer to have detailed steps of what's about to happen (J)?

Do yourself a favor, pick a letter from each of the four categories above, and post a comment with your type (i.e. ESTP, INFP, ESFJ, etc.). My next post will be a summary of those personalities and how they behave around others as well as how they process the world.

Remember, this is not about who you WANT to be. This is about who you are now, not about the you at work, more about the you at home.

If you think you're a bit of both (i.e. an extrovert and an introvert, etc) - choose the one that you are more than the other.

I'll be awaiting your replies anxiously. This should be a lot of fun.

P.S. Only 3% of people in the world share my type.

Odd Thoughts

2007-09-16T17:13:00.000+10:00

So your life is progressing well. You have a job that pays the bills, brings food to the table, and a bit left over to do nothing with. The place you're living in is fantastic and your bed is so comfortable that you feel embarrassed when you tell people you're insomniac. You speak a couple of languages, play a musical instrument, and eat fancy meals more often than others. In your bedroom cupboard, you have a couple of degrees and a professional qualification that is on its way.

Things should be fine. You should be happy. After all, you're meant to enjoy life, aren't you? You should feel content and have some sense of satisfaction, or maybe a sense of pride that you've done nothing but study and work over the past seven years of your life. But nothing about that impresses you.

It feels like nothing is fine. Your old usual social self is becoming more introverted by the day. No one is funny, interesting, or worth having a conversation with. People get on your nerves nine times out of ten, and rather than trying you have decided to completely give up on them. They're a bunch of judgemental assholes anyway.

Religion means nothing to you anymore. It only made you develop obsessive compulsive behaviour when you practiced it. People you had to deal with in religious gatherings were more bitter than the greenest pomegranate. At times, you wish more non-religious people like you read more about theology so that you could have something to laugh about, but that doesn't seem to be the case.

Your idea of a great time is slowly turning from a great adventurous holidays across many countries to renting a cabin on a mountain somewhere far away where you could just tell yourself that you're wasting away for no purpose.

And this is what you have come to. Your old multi-dimensional self is turning into a one dimensional being with no other purpose but to work, make money, and buy things. It bothers you that you have succumbed to what you despised only a few years ago. You would like to bring the old you back, but it just doesn't seem like you have enough time. The damage is already done, and this new you, is someone that you will have to deal with from now on.

But don't get confused, you only feel this way when the dark cloud of depression takes over.

Odd's Facebook Rant

2007-09-13T21:22:00.000+10:00

What a bunch of tossers!

All of you wankers who pretend to be my "friends". Fuckers. I wouldn't want to spend two seconds with you, let alone have you on my "friends" list on Facebook so that I see your profile picture every single day of my life. Dickheads.

What's the point really? Do you want to show off how many 'friends' you've got? Does it make you feel good? Ooh, look at me. I have 250 friends. LOSER! Chances are that at least 40% of those 250 think you're a good-for-nothing knob.

Fuck! I was so disappointed the day my 'friends' list went beyond 20. I thought I was selective about who I am friends with. And in reality, I am. I like to think I am friends with highly intelligent, cool, funky, respectable people. Unfortunately, I can see unwanted humans creeping on my Facebook page.

On the other hand, not everything is bad about Facebook. There is always the "Remove friend" option. Thank God for that. That "look how rich my father is" knob from highschool, yep, he's gone. Joining him will be the "I have to have the brightest moustache" dickhead. Not to mention "Mrs. I think I'm hot shit because I have gallons of make-up on."

Tossers. All of you! I hate people. I hate people with a passion.

What would you do?

2007-09-07T19:36:00.000+10:00

...if you were given half a million dollars now and told that this amount is all that you'll get for the rest of your life?

Odd Wisdom

2007-09-02T17:09:00.000+10:00

Anything I obsess about, I fail at.

Odd Dreams

2007-08-23T21:14:00.000+10:00

One

Wow! Look at it flying! How big is it? What is it? I can't believe big monsters like that still exist. Incredible. I can't believe the flying monster from "Shadow of the Colossus" is real!

Two

Why are there so many midgets here? I'm starting to feel claustrophobic, not to mention tall. And why on earth are they all naked? Holy shit, that midget has a massive...

Why am I dreaming this?

Three

Shit! I can't believe I didn't wake up to my alarm! I can't believe it's 10am. I had the alarm set to 7am. How did I not hear it? This is bad. Why does this always happen?

Odd, the Late

2007-08-21T21:53:00.000+10:00

I'm known for being late to social events. Can you really blame me? I'm Bahraini.

"I'll be there in 10 minutes" means "I'll be there within the next hour." But anyway, social events are one thing, and work is a different thing.

I try to make a point to get to work on time, and most of the time I am there bright and early. Today, the first time in quite a while, I rocked up 15 minutes 'late.'

As I opened the front office door, I noticed the Partner of the firm standing across the middle set of cubicles. I tried to avoid eye contact and to sneak in without anyone noticing.

It didn't work.

"HEY EVERYONE, ODD IS HERE!"

Shit, this guy must be kidding.

"ODD, WE THOUGHT SOMETHING WAS WRONG. YOU OKAY?"

There was this evil grin on his face.

"EVEN JOHN WAS WORRIED," he said as he looked at the guy who sits next to me. "ISN'T THAT RIGHT JOHN?"

John replies, "Yes, yes. I was very worried."

The 20 people in the office were all giggling cheekily and giving me the "haha, sucked in" look. As for me, my eyes were as wide as that 'Disappointed Smile' emoticon on MSN Messenger.

"SO HOW ARE YOU ODD?"

"I'm fine, thanks, how are you?"

"I'M FANTASTIC. I'M VERY PLEASED THAT YOU DECIDED TO JOIN US TODAY!"

"That's great! I'm very happy to be here."

I sunk to my chair. Shook my head at my misfortune, and proceeded to work.

I remembered my physics teacher's words, "Odd, you will be late for your own funeral!"

Odd Thought - 1

2007-08-19T18:38:00.000+10:00

Has anyone ever learned a language from those 'Learn a language in 30 days' type of books?

Spider Odd

2007-08-11T20:31:00.000+10:00

Oddy do, doodly do
Oddy me, Oddy you
Take me home
To your dome
Laugh away
About today
Then scratch your bum
With a gun

Oddy do, doodly do
Oddy me, Oddy you
Packed some money
Gone one way
To a hill
For a thrill
Some say well
You say hell

Oddy do, doodly do
Oddy me, Oddy you
Jug of Berri
Deodorant
A crunchie bar
Dead dog's head

Oddy do, doodly do
What the hell
You gonna do?

Found it...

2007-07-29T14:39:00.000+10:00

Woke up at 6am, sat here...

Drove along a very foggy road...

And then, by a bit of desert...

And for the first time in my life, saw this...

So I got into these, and snowboarded all day....

Until it was time to go home....

What next?

2007-07-20T23:36:00.000+10:00

I need a project, something to work towards when I'm away from work.

Something cool, something funky, something different.

Gardening? No - can't do that since this is a rented house.
Woodwork? Hmm - I always wanted to make furniture, my style - but it gets messy and I don't have my own shed.
Jigsaw puzzles? Too nerdy.
Learn a new language? I'm happy with three, all very poorly spoken languages, thank you very much.

I need to build something, make something grow out of stuff. You catch the drift? Maybe I should start seriously investing and building my own portfolio. That's good, but not what I'm looking for.

Model airplanes? No, the thought of the real ones flying gets me all dizzy.

Someone, please - find me a hobby.

No, I don't want to read. I'm done with reading.

Collecting, yes, maybe I can collect something. Maybe I can be a fancy wooden furniture collector, so that by the time I get my own house, it'll have all these antique pieces.

I think we're getting somewhere. I'm getting excited all of a sudden.

Maybe, maybe! I got it - Maybe I should learn a new programming language! Ah! Yes!

C#, .NET, ASP(?) - That's the height of nerdiness. What do you (the geeks out there) think? Which one is most useful? I've already done C, C++, Eiffel, Visual Basic, and even Basic.

Any other ideas? I really can't think of anything mentally stimulating apart from Sudoku all day long.

Gotye - Heart's A Mess

2007-07-15T00:54:00.001+10:00

Enjoy :)

Odd the Nerd

2007-07-12T23:03:00.000+10:00

Alright, so I'm officially getting old. I realise this because I can no longer aim and get a good head shot at the animated motherf*cker that is aiming a gun at me.

Very annoying. I used to be good at these things. Uh!

Anyway, maybe I should give up on F.E.A.R. - maybe I should move to a more 'older' person thing. Something like "Age of Empires III". Or maybe I can play God in "Black and White II".

I was never a shoot 'em geek. I was always a nerd geek.

Dammit! Why does reality have to hit me in the face this way? I used to be a talented and dedicated gamer. Now I'm just ... another loser who can't play video games. I'll keep playing. I don't care. Even if I can't seem to even kill one of those a**holes.

Anyway, I just want to say that I am enjoying my life at the moment, and loving being an absolute bum who does nothing but work, play games, and eat junk food. Oh, and a nerd who reads something like "How to write effective reports" before he goes to bed.

Gotta love the nerd. All hail Odd the Nerd.

Yawn

2007-07-10T23:45:00.000+10:00

I have to write thousands of words every day at work. So the idea of coming back home and doing more writing is becoming quite unappealing. Instead, I decided to buy a new computer with a good graphics card, and started playing F.E.A.R.

End of Odd the Blogger

Let the games begin!

Bahrain: An Overview

2007-06-26T14:06:00.000+10:00

It's 8:10am in the morning. I'm in Dubai Airport waiting for my 17-hour flight back to kangaroo-land. I left Bahrain last night with many great memories, and a few opinions.

Bahrain IS over-populated:

Bahrain is overpopulated because there are a lot of people employed from overseas to do minimal things. Those 'minimal' jobs are done to increase customer service, which (to be fair) is at an unsurpassable level compared to customer service in many developed countries. One incident that comes to mind is when we went to the new Persian Restaurant in Seef Mall. One guy walked the tray from the kitchen, another placed the plates on our table, a third waiter took the tray back to the kitchen, and a forth guy placed the cloths on our laps. The whole thing was completely ridiculous. Foreign employment is completely over-abused.

Solution: You need one person to the do all the above. Fire those four people, send them back home, get one Bahraini, pay him the sum of all the salaries of the fired people (and maybe a bit more), and make him or her work like a dog for their money. This way the employer's action will solve two problems: Unemployment and over-population.

Bahrain's (slow) growth is NOT a good thing:

I think it could lead to disasters in the future. The way things are going now is not sustainable for long. I heard of and witnessed many incidents where signatories and delegations were over-looked. As well as people blatantly asking officials to be 'lenient' so that they could get away with things. If you apply the same attitude at various levels of organisations, government processes and procedures - then you are paving the way for a disaster should Bahrain decide to take itself seriously.

Solution: And I know that this might be completely un-Bahraini. But we do need to start implementing guidelines and professional codes of conduct for people to adhere to. I know that this is the case with many Foreign companies that operate in Bahrain (i.e. Chartered Accountant firms, law firms, etc). But we do need a set of 'Bahraini Codes of Conduct.' These should be taught at an early level of schooling, and built upon once employment commences. This is not an airy-fairy idealistic solution. This is a must. We've embarrassed ourselves way too many times before foreign investors, and we need to take action to re-build some form of trust.

The Real Estate issue:

It seems that people from neighbouring countries have all of a sudden developed this massive interest in buying land in Bahrain. Prices are just too high for a non-cushioned Bahraini to afford.

Solution: This needs to come from various levels. Banks should offer a wider range of products to support people from various classes to own the property they desire. The government needs to monitor the prices of land and housing, and perhaps limit foreign investment in the country. We also know that 2/3rds of Bahrain are empty. Move that fake 'southern' border 1km down rather than reclaiming land in the north. As far as I can see, this is an environmental disaster waiting to happen.

Lazy Bahrainis:

While I met many hardworking Bahrainis who were drained and drowning in work, I couldn't help but notice the lazy bums that filled some shops or those that walked around the malls being 'security'. A minor theft occured to one of my friends, and when the security guard of the area was asked if he saw anything, his answer was, 'well you know how hot Bahrain is. I went in to get some cool air. Besides, it's too hard for two people to keep an eye on a whole carpark'. Excuse me? Why are you getting paid again? Allow me to answer: You are getting paid to get your ass all sweaty while you ensure that theft and other incidents that risk people's safety and property don't occur. Getting 'cool air' is not part of the job description.

Solution: Set performance indicators to all sorts of jobs, and effectively manage those indicators. For the security kids, something like, 'reduce number of theft in the carpark by 70% for this month' could be an option. Monitor it closely. If those indicators are not being satisfied, ask why not? And employ plans to fix it. Repeat the steps above to the sales assistant, and the shawarma seller - and all of a sudden you will have a much more professional country where people monitor their work.

Finally, don't roll your eyes when you read the above. Other countries have done it, and we should start as well. Otherwise we'll be flushed down the drain in no time.

Things to do in Bahrain

2007-06-14T23:23:00.000+10:00

1- Eat Aloo Basheer
2- Eat Bacheh
3- Have lunch in Copper Chimney
4- Have dinner in an Iranian restaurant
5- Have kabseh
6- Avoid talking about 'living in Bahrain' - I insult, they get defensive, and it always ends badly.
7- Confirm rumors that I am a Communist.
8- Spend 70% of my time with family, 20% with friends I haven't seen in ages, 10% eat and smoke sheesha.
9- Avoid formal gatherings where people ask too many questions about what I do.
10- Smoke sheesha every night - 10 nights in a row!

I think it is a simple list and the points mentioned are achievable, so it shouldn't be hard - point 6 is always annoying because people always ask "So when are you going to settle down?" - settle down my ass! Ain't no settlin' down happenin' from me anytime soon.

Behave yourself Odd. You hear? And for fuck's sake, take a few pictures, and send some postcards out. Your PR skills are shit when it comes to your friends.

Happy Odd

2007-06-09T21:11:00.000+10:00

I passed :)

Remember my exam?

2007-06-05T00:35:00.000+10:00

Remember the main reason why I started this blog (again)? Yes, that was my exam.

Most definitely the most stressful exam I had ever written.

I know that a statement like that coming from someone who sat Uni exams in his PJs and left an hour early most of the time, might lead some to question its legitimacy (I tried to reconstruct this sentence a few time, but couldn't be bothered).

But seriously. I had to sit through 3 hours of an exam. Unbelievable. I never care about time - if you get something done, then it's done, pack your bags and leave. No reason to sit there for hours staring at the same paper. A miracle is not going to occur in the last 15 minutes. But for this exam - I NEEDED THOSE 15 MINUTES! Uh!

But anyway. This was a fucker of an exam. The materials that were provided to us initially had many incorrect data/information - so bad was the situation that the last update to the 'teaching materials' was done a DAY BEFORE THE FINAL EXAM!

But we won't go there, because an exam is an exam and you have to deal with what you're given. You make the best out of whatever circumstance you are given.

I hate that circumstance shit. If I feel like shit, the last thing I need is to have to deal with 'feeling like shit.' - What a load of nonsense.

Anyway, where was I?

Oh yes. The exam. The results will come out at the end of this week. If I pass, I plan to do a nudie run around my new workplace. Maybe leave the tie on.

It's 0 degrees outside at the moment. Maybe I'll have undies on as well.

Speaking of undies, I can now claim that I have found a way to NEVER be short of undies. Ever again! No more undie stress.

I love undie shopping, and bedsheet/linen shopping. Nothing feels better than a flanellete bedsheet under a fluffy quilt when it's minus something outside.

I bought a dot-it! You stick it on the wall, and anytime you need light - you press it, and VOILA! Right behind my bed! So I can read, and if I get sleepy, tick, and it's gone!

Mmmm. What else...

Oh, and I'm coming back to Bahrain soon - only for a few days. Anyone interested in having a sheesha (or two) with me?

Don't fee like bloggin'

2007-06-03T11:15:00.000+10:00

But I don't feel like bloggin'

When the old website plays

My mind could take a break

But my two fingers can't find a way

You think that I could muster up a little useless, stupid say

But I don't feel like bloggin'

No sir, no bloggin' today.

Don't feel like bloggin', bloggin'

Even if I find nothin' better to do

Don't feel like bloggin', bloggin'

Suddenly I See

2007-05-23T22:38:00.000+10:00

I like people who are self-aware. People who know and appreciate the effect of what they say and do. People who lack self-awareness shit me to tears. Every once in a while in a conversation, I think to myself "do you even realise what you're saying?"

But having said that, and to a great degree of self-contradiction, I also like people who are relaxed and say it as it is. Without offending others around them.

Why do I care so much? Because it gives me a peace of mind. When someone says something that makes me cringe, I find that a lot of the time I just take it in and not tell them to stick it - but when I DO tell them to stick it, I feel this great sense of relief, until it happens again.

I hate administratively inefficient people. If you are given something to file or to mail, and it takes only 30 seconds of your time, don't delay it till later. Do it now!

When I am clearly yawning while you're talking, it means I'm not interested. That will probably occur after 40 seconds of us having 'small talk' - so stop and move on. I don't like small talk, I don't care about what you think of the weather, and I certainly don't wanna know what you thought of the match the night before - unless of course, I bring it up first.

Opinionated people are generally shitheads. I mean, seriously, the world needs more listeners, not opinions - so keep it to yourself. Especially when it comes to politics and religion. The only exception is if you are the type that likes to face authority and enjoys getting belted by heartless fuckers. Then you can whine all you like.

I hate guys who openly perv on chicks. If there's a hot pair of ass walking in front of me, the probability is that I have already noticed it - YOU DO NOT NEED TO POINT IT OUT and wink at me! Dickheads!

I don't care what you do for a living - BE GOOD AT IT, even if you're a prostitute. No one wants to deal with a shitty salesperson, a crappy McDonald's checkout chick, or an inefficient shawarma maker. Do it quickly, politely, and do it well.

Don't cook if you can't cook - you'll burn it and waste food. Watch others do it and get it right from the first time. It's not that hard.

It's Called Work for a Reason

2007-05-20T00:09:00.000+10:00

I really think anyone who has a job should read this. The author has a strict "cut the bullshit and do your job" attitude. There's none of: motivation crap, social networking, or teamwork bullshit. The subtitle "Your Success is Your Own Damn Fault" applies to everyone. We all love to complain about the environment we work in, our workmates, and our bosses. But the issue is not them - YOU are at fault.

You have a shitty job? YOU are at fault because you're still there.
Your team is not producing output? YOU are at fault because YOU are not pulling your weight.
Your team sucks? YOU are at fault because YOU as a manager, suck.

It is simple, and very straightforward. There is one constant theme in this book that keeps popping up, and that is: you are paid to do your job, not to 'enjoy' your job. The enjoyment factor is a bonus and will in some cases increase productivity. But it's not the point.

Other issues that are discussed: using work resources for personal reasons (i.e. e-mail, paper clips, photocopier, phone, etc), annoying workmates, and the 20-60-20 rule (20% of employees are super, they don't need supervision, 60% of them need the supervision, and the bottom 20% need to get fired).

All of these topics are handled with both sides of the story in mind, the employee and the employer - so overall the book is balanced.

Obviously, and judging by the author's attitude, some measures are a bit extreme, but he does make a valid point. You are going to work to work and get paid. You are not going to work to muck around, produce fuck-all, and go home!

Read it, and spread the word. People (employees and employers) will appreciate it.

Odd's New Job

2007-05-17T22:47:00.000+10:00

My new job rocks!

It does - completely kicks ass. Things happened very quickly on Monday morning.

Got in at around 8:30.

"Odd?"
"Yes"
"Here's your bag, your paperwork, and keys to the toilet. Also, this is the swipe card for parking downstairs. We have a few designated car spots under the building, pick whichever you like."
"Cool"
"Your laptop is on its way. Once it comes in, go see the Director, he has a few things for you."
"Ok"

20 minutes later, after signing all my paperwork, the laptop arrives. I walked into the Director's office. He picked a big box of notes, folders, books, and placed it on the table.

"We're doing a review of a fund worth $8 million dollars. Have a look through this box, we're starting consultations tomorrow. You'll be doing them. Good luck."

24 hours later, I'm in a room with a telephone conducting interviews with people who are recepients of this fund.

Oh, and they took me to lunch to a nice lakeside restaurant where everyone was paid for by the company.

But anyway, there was no, "so, tell everyone something about yourself" - no tour around the office - no this is how we do things. It was more like, we think you know what you're doing, so off you go. I didn't even know about the bowl of fruit, biscuits, coffee, and tea until my third day! I really liked all of this about them. No fluffy lovey dovey things. And the fact they gave me a relatively significant project to work on and trusted me completely with interviewing stakeholders was fantastic!

So off I go, Odd in the private sector.

Odd's Kitchen (2)

2007-05-13T22:22:00.000+10:00

Coriander, parsley, leek, spinach, onions, garlic, dried lime, red kidney beans, with a lot of washing, chopping, stirring, and waiting - jointly produce this magnificent dish called Qormeh Sabzi:

And then, after realising that my waffles need a 'fruity' sauce while eating a pomegranate, I made up this syrup:

Odd's PomeBerries Syrup
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup water
2 handfuls of raspberries
1/2 a pomegranate - seeds only - none of the bitter yellow stuff!

Boil all above ingredients together until the mixture gets really thick. And then drizzle on top of warm waffle + chocolate sauce.

The result is this:

Yummy ey?

Odd's Farewell

2007-05-05T19:17:00.000+10:00

So I had my farewell party, got a nice looking Parker pen and a very funky blue tie. But the funniest bit was the farewell card. I'll leave you with a few comments from it:

"Pyth, all the best. TB - P.S. you never beat me in squash" - bastard!

"All the best with the new job, just hope the shirt collars don't irritate too much. Remember be a 'model citizen' and visit your mum on a regular basis - even if it's via the Antarctic. Life off-campus is scary but I'm sure you will cope"

"Will have to keep the recipe sharing going via e-mail"

"Have a great time in your new job slacker. M will miss you so much - I think she secretly is jealous of your romance with K" - Haha, if only all those rumoured affairs were true..

"So we finally got rid of you. Hope the new job goes well and stay in touch - PS. I want my stress ball back"

"Sorry to see you go. Remember to drive the same way the arrow points in car parks" - smart ass!

"Will miss you singing along to the radio" - I sang to the radio!?

"It was my pleasure to work with you. I learned a lot of things from you, some good, some bad (mostly bad)!" - Ah, my dear mentee, you did well!

"Good luck being a gigolo - you will be a he bitch... known as 'Odd, the one with the most below' All the best man-whore I will worship you like a god" - Hmmm, I wonder if being a gigolo pays well..

Odd's Kitchen (1)

2007-04-28T21:20:00.000+10:00

You better come on
In my kitchen
Coz it's going to be rainy outdoors
- Robert Johnson

I know I've been bragging about how good of a cook I am in previous posts. Here's proof - although, given the simplicity of this dish - it doesn't really show much. But I'm planning to cook something much more sophisticated next week. Ladies, cook it for your partner, and he'll have one less reason to leave you and hook up with the blondie in the office :)

Rump Steak, Potato Mash and Salad with Italian Dressing

Pretty simple, all you have to do is buy a fresh piece of rump steak from your local butcher, 3 small potatoes, and some garden greens (lettuce, spinach, rocket).

Peel and chop the potatoes, boil them for about 20-30minutes. Mash them up with a bit of cream (or milk), 2 teaspoons of butter, and a sprinkle of chilli flakes (and/or oregano - be creative).

Once that's done, leave the mash on low heat, heat another pan to high with a bit of olive oil (or peanut oil if you want to be fancy), and add your steak. Cook for about 4 minutes on each side (for medium-rare), and you're done. Remember to flip the steak ONCE. This ensures that the juices stay in.

Wash your salad, and top it with a bit of black pepper and Italian seasoning (if you can't be bothered, just mix a bit of vinegar and olive oil with lemon juice, and you're set!).

For the gravy, you can do two things: Either buy powdered gravy from the supermarket and add boiling water to it, or make it yourself. To make it from scratch, use the juices from the pan that you cooked the steak in. Add 2 tablespoons of flour, a bit of beef stock and boiling water, and stir until the desired consistency.

Stay tuned for pictures of next week's mega-meal:
Pumpkin and Roasted Apple Soup
Ghormeh Sabzi
Italian Chocolate Semifreddo

Me and the Devil Blues

2007-04-26T00:06:00.000+10:00

Early this morning
He knocked upon my door
And I said hello, Satan
I believe it's time to go

- Robert Johnson

It is that time of the year where I stop shaving, and take only a shower every two to three days. Call me grubby Odd. I want to be a bum for at least two weeks before I put on my suit. Why? Just coz. I said so. I'm me and will do whatever me wants.

No fuck it. I won't do what I want. I'll do what I don't want, coz that's more fun and unpredictable. I hate predictable things. They make life so boring. I'd rather be be be be be be..

So this is what it's like when someone has nothing to write and nothing occupies his mind except preparing cash flows from scratch and completing consolidations of large companies that have multiple subsidiaries in different continents. It's boring, yet satisfactory. I want to be good at it. But I can't be bothered. Why am I here again? Oh yes, food. Why of course. Why wouldn't anyone want to have good food? And why can't people eat? Let them eat cake!

Yes!

I got ramblin'
I got ramblin' on my mind

I don't really. I'm just crapping on with the hope of something funky to click in my head so that I actually put a post up. If nothing comes up by the time this ramblin' is finished, then I'll post this.

But the thing is, I really enjoy cooking. Nothing gives me more pleasure than running around the kitchen and chopping stuff, frying stuff, and then making something that smells good. If it smells good, then it will most likely taste good.

But no, but yes, but no, butyesbutnobutyesbutnobutyesbut..

I want that one.. hmm...

Once this exam is over I'll gather the fried pieces of my brain and cool them down a bit. Until then, expect nothing but psychotic nonsense.

4 more days and I'll be jobless for 2 weeks. Can't wait. Can't wait. 2 more weeks and I'll be done with this nightmare of an exam. Seriously.

To Odd, From God

2007-04-18T20:13:00.000+10:00

Date: ¥
To: Odd
From: God
Subject: A Summary of Recent Events

Dear Odd,
Allow me to interrupt your God-less life for a second. I'm not one who goes about personally reminding your likes of my existence, but for once, I thought I might as well give it a crack. The Angels of Heaven have been busy figuring out a way to ensure the rivers of milk up here stay fresh, and as you can probably tell, the Angel of Peace has been out of action for a while. He claims his job is too repetitive and abstract. "I'm over it. I want to be counting leaves on that big tree instead," he specifically said. You might think I have it easy, but seriously, try convincing the Angel of Death to swap jobs. He's been kicking a stink lately.
You are a lucky one, Odd. It just so happened that every time you complained and whined I was looking your way. And given your reasonable requests, I repeatedly gave you what you asked for. You on the other hand still fail to even mention me when you sleep. That's okay Odd. I know how much you love food, and yes, your problem with heart-burn is there for a reason. You know when you wake up at night and feel like someone has lit a fire in your chest? Yep. That's me, you bastard.
All jokes aside though, three important things happened to you over the past couple of months. All three wishes you requested on the 29th of December 2006 were granted. So please, for the love of me, don't stuff it up this time. Your life is so boringly cyclical that it quite irritates me. What humanity does over centuries, you do over a cycle of four years. That's not a good thing Odd. Humanity might've not learnt everything it needed from its experiences, but it did learn some. You on the other hand, refuse to pick up anything from your past. For once, think about some of the things you did, and stop pretending that you were only born four years ago.
This letter has more to it than what the eye meets. So come back to it every now and then.

Yours Eternally,
God

P.S. Aren't you glad that you crashed your car rather than getting whacked with a lightbolt through your head?

Odd's Odd Friends

2007-04-14T23:17:00.000+10:00

The Sooky Lawyer, the Romantic Surgeon, the Odd Accountant, and the Mysterious Actuary have only one thing in common and that is their enjoyment of life. Apart from that, they disagree on pretty much anything and everything, except on the fact that they all love one another. I'll try my best to explain as fairly as I can:

In Love:

The Sooky Lawyer: Won't ask for much except love and attention. She's supportive, cooperative, and will give up the world to make her partner happy.

The Romantic Surgeon: Will buy flowers for his subject of attraction on a daily basis and act like Casanova for the longest time possible, until he asks her, "Are we official yet?".

The Odd Accountant: Will date as many girls as he can possibly find. When the 6-month time limit hits, he'll move on. Because too much of the same thing is just that - too much.

The Mysterious Actuary: Will do a bit of what the above three do, but he won't tell anyone about it. After all, he's the most cunning in the group, making him possibly the flirtiest.

In Study:

They all have this uncanny ability to hit the books. None of them necessarily thinks that they are smarter than the others, but they are all hard workers. When something has to be done, they'll get it done on time, and done well. Yes, the Odd Accountant will be sloppy, the Sooky Lawyer will stress out, and the Mysterious Actuary will disappear off the face of the planet, but not the Romantic Doctor. He'll sit there and read and read and read until he feels good and confident about it.

And like all friendship groups, there is envy. Except in this one, it's well-balanced.

Everyone envies the Actuary's intelligence, the Lawyer's dedication, the Doctor's persistence, and of course, the Accountants tendency to fluke his way through anything.

In Family:
They all unconditionally love their families, and come from completely different systems. The Sooky Lawyer, the Odd Accountant, and the Romantic Doctor have crazy fathers. Yep, there's no better word (or even a more proper word) to describe it.

The Mysterious Actuary's family seems normal to the other three. The other three think that this is the reason why the Mysterious Actuary is so grounded in his ways.

In Dramatic Situations:
The Sooky Lawyer: Will listen, cry, and laugh with others. Will always be there to provide a cuddle or two. And if it takes lots of chocolate to fix the problem, she'll eat it even though she can't have much.

The Romantic Doctor: Ah! The Romantic Doctor will always carry the burden of everyone's problems. I mean why not? He's problem-free. The Romantic Doctor has always been nice, caring, and over-supportive of everyone around him.

The Odd Accountant: Absolutely hopeless. He'll poke fun of the person in the dramatic situation, and use one of the following phrases: "Don't be sooky", "Pull your finger out", "Why do you have to make a Bollywood movie out of everything?" - Most people who come to the Odd Accountant do so because they want someone to tell them exactly what they expect him to say.

The Mysterious Actuary: Logic is the name of the game with this young man. He'll talk through things, maintain calmness, and will never compromise his situation by expressing too much emotion. While everyone knows how level-headed the Mysterious Actuary is, the Odd Accountant likes to think that he is a psycho on the inside. It makes him feel like he's not singled out.

Odd's New Job

2007-04-10T23:27:00.000+10:00

So I got a new job.

All I had to do was send in a resume, put a suit on, and meet a few people at the upper end of the food-chain.

I'm pretty excited about it all. It'll be good to get out of my current job as I've reached a point where I just can't be bothered with anything associated with it. I still go to work and get on with what I have to do, but there is no excitement about it all. I don't jump out of bed wanting to go to work.

The rule is pretty simple: If you're waking up 2 days of the week thinking, 'I don't want to go to work' - then it's probably time for you to get a new job. Of course, assuming the employment market is fluid enough that you can get an equally well-paid job somewhere else.

Other signs to look out for are:

- Not being too worried about what your boss thinks.
- Thinking that some colleagues are absolutely intolerable.
- Developing an inferiority complex when people talk about their jobs.
- Knowing that in 3 years time, you wouldn't want to be in the same organization.

Yep - all items checked - I'm outta here!

The best thing about all of this is the randomness and coincidental nature of it all. To be completely honest, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE NEW JOB IS ABOUT.

Every time I have asked the question, "So what will I be doing?", the answer comes back as, "Ah, lots of things. You'll be fine."

I mean, I know that I'll have to wear a suit for it and will be required to travel a bit, but that's about it.

What scares me the most is that I have made way too many random decisions in my life based on purely 'gut-instincts', ignoring all rationality. All of those random decisions have come to a 'positive' end, but what if one day those 'gut-instincts' lead me astray?

Odd's Flirt (3)

2007-04-07T18:00:00.000+10:00

Being the way I am, I cannot be alone or sit still for more than a couple of hours. I woke up yesterday feeling a bit strange. And for some inexplicable reason I decided not to call any of my friends. The house was empty, and I had some washing to do (I had promised myself that I will never be short of undies ever again!). Once that was done, I finally gave up and sent a message to the one who's been occupying my mind recently.

"Hey, I'm car-less and and all alone :( Wanna come have some ice cream with me?" I know. Yes, corny, cheesy, and just simply, bad!

A few minutes later, the reply popped up, "Hey, I was thinking we could watch a DVD tonight. I'm going to dinner soon, but if you can't make it I'll come over now"

Did she say DVD? Ooooh yea. I am so in!

So we agreed that she'd come over later to watch a movie. When the time came, we picked Mallrats. Stupidly funny, but a good choice to keep the evening light. Not much happened between us throughout the movie besides a bit of small talk, and a cheeky attempt at me to hold her hand. Boys, stop cringing - go get a bucket or something. Girls, I know, sweet ay? ;)

So the movie ended, and we decided to talk.

"So, is there something you wanna tell me?"

"Uh. I am so confused. I totally didn't see it coming!"

"Well, you can say no. We can just be friends and move on."

"That's the thing. I don't want to say no because I don't feel that way. But it's also weird for me to say yes." Hmmph!

"If you only knew how many people are waiting for you to give an answer, you'd totally freak out!"

"What do you mean!?"

"Uh, never mind."

So we spent the rest of the night chatting away about what her friends think and what my friends think and how could she be so naive as to not pick up all the hints I've been dropping.

"Only a month ago you were telling me about all the girls you'd been dating. How am I supposed to think of you as anything other than a friend if you're telling me that?!" Oops. So I forgot to mention this insignificant bit in my first flirt post.

Two hours later, it was time for her to go. We said good night, and she took home the chocolate bunny that I had bought her for Easter.

Eight hours later, it was time for us to go to the library.

Odd's Accident

2007-04-06T00:09:00.000+10:00

I was driving around the multi-level car park yesterday...

Fucki'mrunninglateIneedtobeonthisinterviewpanelin10minuteswhatamIgoing toaskthesepeopleGodIneedtogetmyshittogetherthecourseIamdoingisfucking
hardandthereissomuchworktodoandwhatthefuckiswrongwiththisgirlwhoruns
awaywhenyouaskthemout?whatamidoingwithmyselfican'tstandmyjobanymore
iusedtolikefuckwhyamisuchascatterbrainsometimesireallyneedtofocusonwhat
i'mdoingatthemom....

CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHH

I rammed into this other car that seemed like it appeared out of nowhere. My fault. I'm not going to even pretend it wasn't. I'm okay - just emotionally drained after a disgustingly long day. I parked my car immediately after I destroyed it, got out, and headed straight back to work. Called the insurance company, the towing truck came, and my car was gone. I'm quite annoyed with myself, but also grateful that whatever happened was a minor incident and that God decided to throw this at me rather than a light bolt for all the misdeeds I've committed. Something down there feels good. Something tells me, Odd - you deserved it!

Odd's Flirt (2)

2007-04-03T23:12:00.000+10:00

We won our volleyball game. Totally smashed the other team. We're in her car because she will never let me drive her anywhere again. My attempt at psyching myself up to drop the question is half-revealed through my unusual quietness.

"I felt sorry for the other team. They were quite easy to beat."
"Yeah"
"So, are you excited about your new job?"
"Yeah, it's not too bad"

A turn before getting back to her place, I had to blurt it out.

"Hey"
"Yeah?"
"I don't mean to put you on the spot"
"But?"
"But... do you think we can go out?"
"Huh?"
"Will you go out with me?"

Silence. She stopped the car at her place and got out without saying one coherent word. She stared at the sky as she walked up her driveway.

"This is so weird. Such a foreign concept. I never thought of it this way."
"Well, do you think it will work out?"

Silence. She slowly walked towards the main door, and while turning the handle she said, 'can I think about it and let you know?' She disappeared from sight.

Two hours later, I received a text message: 'Sorry. I just totally didn't see that coming. I'm not good with surprises.'

After consulting with housemates, the neighborhood, friends, and everyone I could think of, I decided to send a gentle reply, 'How about you think about it and let me know? In the meantime, we can still hang out as buddies. Good night'

Next day, I rock up to work. At around 10:15am I get a message on the internal network.

"What was last night all about?! Did you actually think about it? Or were you being your usual spontaneous self?"
"I actually thought about it for a while... only decided recently that it was worth taking the risk for"
"As you can obviously tell, I'm not very good at the face-to-face thing. Can you not mention it until I feel comfortable?"

So there you go, dear reader, my love life in a nutshell - odd.

Not Odd Enough

2007-04-01T23:10:00.000+10:00

Schmick enough?

Odd Scenes

2007-04-01T01:29:00.000+10:00

My phone rang at about 8:40am two days ago. It was the assistant manager of the firm that I had had an interview with at the beginning of the week.

'Odd, it's Don. Are you free Monday morning at 9:00am?'
'Sure am'
'Our senior director would like to meet you.'
'Sounds great. I'll see you then.'
'Ummm...do you have jacket?' What the? Well, I suppose I do come across as someone who doesn't own a suit
'No, but I'll buy one this weekend.'
'That's fine. It's just that this guy is a bit more formal. That's all'
'Thanks for letting me know. Am I meeting with him only?'
'No. I'll be there too, unless you don't want me to.'
'No not at all. I'll see you then'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We're sitting around a table at the pub. Her housemate is giving her shit about nothing really. I'm taking sides with the housemates. She looks at me and tells me, 'you're so annoying tonight.' and lets out a very long sigh.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Do you wanna come suit shopping with me?'
'Sure', says my best mate who is also the worst wingman ever.

30 Minutes later, I'm walking to my car with a new charcoal-colored suit. Looks schmick, I think. Not as funky as the pin-striped one that I tried on, but I suppose I should buy a plain one first before complicating things.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As we're walking around town, I decide to muck around with her best friend and intentionally ignore her existence. She totally flips out and decides to walk away from everyone. I follow her to the cheap and dirty chicken burger outlet. She sits there and quietly eats her chips, but then decides to tell me how annoying she thinks I am.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Welcome to our country. You're now officially one of us. Feeling racist yet?'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey Boss,
I got an interview Monday morning at 9:00am - so I will be late to come in to work. Can you please let me know if there are any issues with this? Also, I'm not a very good liar, so I can't make a good excuse to put on the board - any ideas?

Cheers,
Odd

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She's fuming with anger.
'I swear to God I'm gonna vomit in your car one day just to show you how bad of a driver you are.'
'I only drive like this with you.'
'You are so annoying.'

I stop the car at her place.

She steps out, steam coming out of her ears, 'I REALLY DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU...'

silence..

'...FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS', and slams the door shut.

Given that it's Friday, of course I'm not gonna see her for a couple of days. Not fussed at all.

Odd's Flirt

2007-03-29T21:06:00.000+10:00

It's been going on for a few weeks now. All our friends think we're gonna hook up. Not to mention our workmates who crack sex jokes at our expense on a daily basis. We bump into each other a fair bit outside of work. We play on the same teams in volleyball, and have mutual friends.

We're both doing some form of a post-grad diploma. So a few weeks back I asked if she wanted to go to the library to study together (I like studying with other people, and no, that was not me having a crack). She said probably not, because she had bought a new desk and the novelty of it was still there. I said whatever, obviously offended that she did not want to hang out with a fine specimen of a gentleman like myself (stop rolling your eyes, I'm talking shit here).

So anyway, time passed, we ended up hanging out on weekends as well. There's a bit of flirting, a lot of laughing, and not enough 'serious' talking. But who cares about talking at this stage? Anyway, around 4:30pm everyday, I get a message on the internal network from her. Usually it's just chitty chatty stuff - a couple of flirty comments, gossip about our friends, whinging about our workmates - but today, it came:

"So I was thinking of going to the library to study a couple of times a week. Wanna come?"
"Hell yeah!"
"You're such a nerd, so keen." If she only knew what the 'hell yeah' was really for.
"I'm glad you finally decided that it's hard to study at home, besides, committing to something regularly will make you actually get up and do it.."
"Yeah, this is why I wanna do this.."
"So, do you wanna book one of those rooms upstairs? ;) " Attempt no.1
"Not if I can help it ... I don't want you to be talking to me..." Failed

There was a fair bit of discussion about times and dates...

"If we do Tuesdays, we have to do it around 7:00pm. Other nights we can do it earlier?"
"Hmmm, what do you have on Tuesdays? Matt wants some Odd time?" Matt's a friend - and oooh - aren't we curious little cats?
"Actually, no - his time is 6am in the morning - but anyway, there are ladies out there who need Odd time, and if they knew you were getting TWO NIGHTS a week, they'd be very pissed off"
"I love the ego"
"It's usually internalised and subdued, you bring it out"
"Sort of like how you bring out the frustration in me? That makes me sigh and huff and puff at you?"
"Yep..."

"Hmm, interesting. Hey, do you wanna spice things up a bit and go to dinner on Wednesdays?" Attempt 2
"Sure. Only if it's a quickie though" Success
"Quickie ay? ;)"
"Heheheh.. If only your boss saw the screen now"
"She'd love it, they all live vicariously through us you know..."

End of post about really nothing.

I kind of wonder though:

-If she didn't really like me, she wouldn't want to waste two nights of her week with me, would she?
-When our workmates tease us, she doesn't really back off or do a "him? NO WAY!". She just giggles and replies with a smart ass "Can you really blame him?"
- She starts 80% of our conversations
- We're complete opposites in EVERY SENSE of the word. That makes our time together very amusing. Not a bad thing though is it?
- There is still a tiny bit of awkwardness when we're together
- She's been trying to talk me out of applying for this new job I've been telling you about...

Comments anyone? Suggestions? Do's and Don'ts?

Odd's 2-hour Interview

2007-03-28T05:59:00.000+10:00

With a beer on his desk, Mr. Yellow Tie started talking. For the first few minutes, I was totally zoned-out. Names of too many firms were thrown at me as if I were shopping for diapers, but things got very interesting...

So what was all the crapping on about?

1- I have a medium sized private firm
2- I make a LOT of money and I am happy to pay my staff a lot of money
3- I am honest and will tell it to you as it is
4- I control how much pressure I put on my staff
5- I think about the next step each staff member needs to take
6- I appreciate the diversity of my office
7- I like people who take responsibility for their work
8- I don't mind people who stuff up, as long as they learn
9- I am proud that at the age of 24, I had 120 staff members under me who worked in an insolvency case
10- Pro-rated, my firm brings more money in than the Big 4.
11- I'll provide you with as much training as you want.

After he went on for a good hour or so, I said, "I appreciate your sense of honesty. Could you please tell me three negative things about your firm?"

1- Thinks that it could be bigger
2- Thinks that his firm is too 'money-oriented'
3- Thinks that they don't pat themselves on the back as much as they should

All in all, I liked the way he presented himself. There was a good level of well-deserved arrogance in his manner, but he wasn't overbearing at all. He seemed to be a really smart people-person (hardly lost eye-contact throughout the interview). The fact that he stayed back to 8pm to interview me said a lot too.

At the end, he left me with this comment:
"If I thought you were a bullshit artist, I would've stopped this interview at the 10-minute mark."

I might actually take this job...

Letting Loose

2007-03-25T14:08:00.000+10:00

Every once in a while, when I realise that I had been inhaling conditioned air and exposing my skin to fluorescent light more than I should, I decide to let loose.

'Let loose' is an understatement. I go completely nuts!

I would've written more today, but I'm having massive grammatical issues. Maybe that part of the brain is still turned off..

No, I'll write more. I have nothing else to do anyway (besides clicking on the 'submit' button).

So at midnight last night, I stepped out of the office. What happened after that is a very murky memory. All I know is I woke up feeling great today.

What defines letting loose, you may ask. I'll tell you, dear visitor:

1- Letting loose means doing whatever you feel like. Be an existentialist for once, do whatever you feel like as long as you're not limitting anyone else's freedom.

2- Be yourself. Forget about what people might or might not think of you. Let your inner weirdo come out (as if that's hard for me to do - but I'm sure it is for you, so keep reading!). Most of us live with this fear of 'leaving an impression' in our minds. Forget about that, for once.

3- In order for you to reach that level of 'letting loose' that only some grand masters have attained, you need to work hard at all other times. Work so hard that you completely lose touch with reality. When the 'letting loose' day comes, you will be feeling like a kid in a candy store, and that is the point.

4- Don't 'let loose' with the same people. Choose a different person or a group every once in a while. If you let loose with same people over and over again, you are bound to complicate things for yourself and people around you. They'll start turning into ... counselling sessions!

5- LETTING LOOSE IS NOT DEMANDING A COUNSELLING SESSION from everyone around you. If you think that complaining is letting loose, then you've got it all wrong - go back to step one.

6- Document your letting loose experience. If you're not the type that does it very often, you will soon forget that good feeling. Documenting the experience will give you something to look back at and remind you of how good you once felt. Most of us write only under stress and anger - do it when you're happy, it feels different.

Jeez, I wasn't even planning to write this much about this 'letting loose' business. But anyway, have a crack at it, and let me know if you ever blog about your 'letting loose' experience.

The Right to Pray

2007-03-23T22:17:00.000+11:00

If I had possession
Over judgement day
Lord, the woman I'm lovin' wouldn't
Have no right to pray

- Robert Johnson

Does it Matter?

2007-03-22T00:27:00.000+11:00

If I stay up at night
To talk to God
About a certain delight
That burns my heart
Will it matter?

If I kill the one I love
To rid myself
Of an addiction
That twists my spine
Will it matter?

If I work hard to make
Money that will create
Happiness that will end
On the bridges of hell
Will it matter?

This life of mine
Will end at last
In a pool of sand
Tonight

Relax - no one's about to commit suicide!

An Odd Question

2007-03-21T20:37:00.000+11:00

How many Hoolies, in your opinion, reclassified themselves from 'Arabs' to 'Persians' after September 11?

The Undie Crisis

2007-03-20T22:43:00.000+11:00

Before you keep reading:

... if underwear issues offend you, then please - by all means - STOP reading now!

Are we good to go? Excellent...alright ...

So I wake up this morning at 6am for my daily exercise. The sun wasn't up yet and the air was cool enough to freshen me up a bit. So I stepped outside, did some exercise, and came back home. Took a shower, opened the cupboard to put on clothes for work, and to my dismay I found out that I had run out of clean undies. It was 8:00am.

I realised that I had all my undies (and yes, I have a LOT of undies), were outside hanging to dry. However, the thought that it had rained all of yesterday didn't click in my head until I actually went out to get what I thought would be a fresh, clean, relatively crispy pair of undies. I picked up a pair, and they were SOAKING wet.

Shit. This is not good. Not good at all.

I checked all the other ones hanging on the line, and they were equally wet. I couldn't describe how I felt at this stage. Never before in my life had I not had a fresh pair of undies ready to be worn. By the time I thought about all the things that I'd have to do from this point onwards, it was 8:20am.

So I took what I thought was the driest pair off the line, squeezed water out of 'em, and headed to the ironing board. Turned on the iron and attempted my very best to iron them to dryness.

Success? ... Er...No!

I knew I had a volleyball match at lunchtime, so I REALLY couldn't afford going to work 'commando' style (if you catch what I'm throwing!). These undies HAD to be dried. Looked at the watch after spending a few minutes at the ironing board - 8:45am. Ok, that's it. I had to call my boss.

Picked up the phone, dialled my desk's number, and my forty-year-old boss who educated me about vasectomy picked up.

"Yo yo!"
"Eyyyyyyyyy"
"Ummm, look - I'm up and running. But something came up...ummm.. It's ummm... quite interesting... I'm just having issues...."
"No..No...I don't want to hear about your issues..."
"Ok, ok. But this is good. You'll love it...I'll tell you when I come in... Just note me down as 'maybe late' for now"
"Ok..See ya"
"Bye"

Phew. So now that the dreaded phone call was out of the way, it was time to head back to the ironing board. After a few miserable attempts at drying those Bu-Yagoob-Company undies with an iron, I gave up, and went to work.

...

...

About Odd

2007-03-19T18:15:00.000+11:00

1- He's.. Odd.
2- Will check his watch half-way through any movie.
3- Won't watch T.V. for more than half an hour. It makes him feel like he's wasting his life away.
64- Yet he will day dream for three hours and not feel guilty.
5- Likes to read about as many religions as he can.
6- Yet, he refuses to practice any of them.
7- Doesn't smoke.
8- But will have a puff when the occasion arises.
9- Likes to read books.
10- Hates finishing them.
33- Doesn't read books by female authors.
11- Always thinks about what he's thinking.
12- Which is why he's thinking about what he's currently thinking about.
13- Doesn't understand himself at times.
14- But is quite comfortable with the idea of not knowing.
42- However, he freaks out when people describe how they perceive him.
16- Enjoys the company of the devil.
17- But doesn't really mind God.
18- Has a thing for music that's not manufactured.
23- Doesn't listen to female singers.
19- Has no sense of direction when he's in a car.
20- But rather than getting angry, he loves getting lost.
44- Cooks for fun.
22- Writes when he's stressed.
73- Gets irritated when things are in order :)
39- But doesn't think that that makes him an anarchist.

Hmm (2)...

2007-03-18T18:51:00.000+11:00

Ok,

I'm officially a geek and a nerd.

It's 6:51 pm - still stuck in the same office from yesterday. Working on the same assignment. I have made some progress, but there is still the other half of the assignment to go.

I'll call Mo.

*Dials Mo's number* *Ring,ring* *Mo picks up*

"Yoooo Mooooooww whaddaaayaaa knoooow?"
*Mo giggles* "How are you man?"
"Yea, yea still working on the stupid assignment. What's danglin' with you?"
"Not much"
"...not much? That's kinda worrying...What do you mean nothing's danglin? Dude, you should check it out... anyway, I'm being stupid, we should catch up. Coffee at 8pm? Same place?"
*Mo giggles* "Sure"
"Good, bye"
"Bye"

How exciting is that? I'll finally leave the office...

Now, onto more important issues: The quarter pounder I had today was fantastic.

Not to mention the fact that I managed to calculate the effective interest rate on a seven year loan of $100mil that is recognised at a carrying value of $98.6mil with semi-annual rate resets at 6.35%. That took a very, very long time. I mean seriously, how do you expect me to use the 'goal seek' function in Excel like I'm a pro when I haven't even used it ONCE before.

Anyway, I'm getting side-tracked. Back to more important issues: The chips that came with the quarter pounder were hot - and the mayonnaise on the side was even better.

Oh and Mo is a doctor.

1:24 AM - still here... lemme have a crack at something...

A cheat you are indeed
You see what you don't believe
A blind man comes to town
To burn the golden crown

The two kids are sitting at the dining table. The sun is about to rise. It's time for school but today, the unforeseen will occur. One of them will get run over by a train. No, that's too sad and morbid. Let's change it.

The two youngsters are having breakfast. The sun is just about to melt the clouds above. Father had promised them a great holiday in two weeks time, but that won't happen.

No, why does it always have to take a negative spin?

John and James drank two cups of milk each before they stepped out of the house. The sun was melting the ice from the hailstorm last night and the birds were singing... Wait ..what hailstorm? Why a hailstorm? No hailstorm. I totally made that up.

Moving right along...

Hmm..

2007-03-16T23:37:00.000+11:00

So I'm sitting in an empty office.

It's 11:38pm.

I'm working on an extension project that needs to be done before next Sunday.

I also have a 'potential' presentation on Thursday.

Not to mention the multiple choice quiz which I completed 2 hours ago, which I totally fucked up.

I'm hungry.

I know I'm going to be a monk in 20 years time, so why am I bothering with this now?

Odd - Father of Steel (or Steel's Father)

2007-03-15T19:58:00.000+11:00

For someone who didn't give two shits about exercising for most of his life, I am quite impressed by the effort I've put in over the past 3 months.

Yes, yours truly is ... Odd, The Bu7adeed.

Here's my schedule: -

Mondays: Wake up at 6am and do one hour of aerobics exercises - Play a match of volleyball at night
Tuesdays: Play a volleyball match at lunchtime - Play 2 hours of squash after work
Wednesdays: Go to the gym at 6:30am - do weight training
Thursdays: Wake up at 6am and do one hour of aerobics exercises
Fridays: Go to the gym at 6:30am - do weight training
Saturday or Sunday: Take one day off - Play 1 hour of squash in the other.

Sounds impressive ey? I know, I know... Odd has a big head now. People comment about how fit he looks, how big his arms are, and how much stamina he has. Not to mention those who even ask, 'can I feel your arms?' But beyond all this showing-off, the most surprising thing was how superficial some people are. I mean, there are some assholes out there who've changed their tone with me ever since I've started working out. Are they just worried that I might knock the life out of them if they piss me off? Or do they just appreciate my efforts and have found that there is a 'manly' side to 'nerdy' Odd?

The interesting thing is that my eating habits have somehow subconsciously changed as well (and yes, I really do mean it. I don't pick what I eat, I have just noticed a subtle change). Here's what I've noticed:

- I've cut down on Indian food
- No more KFC (What the? How did this come about?)
- I've incorporated some healthy stuff in the Bahraini dishes I cook
- Realised that Iranian food is actually pretty healthy (barring the butter on the rice).
- Increased protein intake significantly

Any questions?

I got ramblin'

2007-03-14T22:49:00.000+11:00

I got ramblin’
I got ramblin’ on my mind
I got ramblin’
I got ramblin’ all on my mind
Hate to leave my baby
but you treats me so unkind

I got mean things
I got mean things all on my mind
Little girl, little girl
I got mean things all on my mind
Hate to leave you here, babe
but you treats me so unkind

Robert Johnson

Hear it as originally recorded here:

http://www.univie.ac.at/Anglistik/easyrider/data/Rramblin.htm

- You won't like it. Guaranteed, until you listen to it for the 100th time. When one day, you do get ramblin' on your mind, you'll remember it.

...

2007-03-13T22:54:00.000+11:00

*cracks his knuckles*

*dusts off his shoulders*

*removes cobwebs from his hair*

*scratches his nose*

*takes a sniff...hmm..something smells funny around here*

Fuck me - I have nothing to say...yet..

Evil Odd

Freedom

Odd Sledging

Odd City People

What is love?

Collided

The Gaddafi Interview

This Finger

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

An Abusive Father in a Car Park

The New Life by Orhan Pamuk

The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov

Swimming Tigers and Odd Dreams

My thoughts on Catch-22 by Joseph Heller

It sucked - Bahrain that is

I've been like fully sick busy..

Getting Older - Fight or Quit?

Ending the year - with a bang?

Odd's Near-Death Experience

Managing Expectations ... Not Really Easy

A Day in the Life

Now what?

An Odd Take on the Credit Crunch

One Day

Would this freak you out?

Odd's Prayer

Why?

What next?

Awkwardness (2)

Awkwardness

Today

Tomorrow

The Laws of Odd

Setting SMART New Year's Resolutions

Private Sector Perks

OCD (Odd Can't Dose-off)

Odd Thoughts (and a mild rant)

The Pomegranate Shop

Rove interviews Kevin Clash - Elmo

When you can't even take care of the past...

No Longer There

Apologies from Odd

Odd Personalities

Odd Thoughts

Odd's Facebook Rant

What would you do?

Odd Wisdom

Odd Dreams

Odd, the Late

Odd Thought - 1

Spider Odd

Found it...

What next?

Gotye - Heart's A Mess

Odd the Nerd

*Yawn*

Bahrain: An Overview

Things to do in Bahrain

Happy Odd

Remember my exam?

Don't fee like bloggin'

Suddenly I See

It's Called Work for a Reason

Odd's New Job

Odd's Kitchen (2)

Odd's Farewell

Odd's Kitchen (1)

Me and the Devil Blues

To Odd, From God

Odd's Odd Friends

Odd's New Job

Odd's Flirt (3)

Odd's Accident

Odd's Flirt (2)

Not Odd Enough

Odd Scenes

Odd's Flirt

Odd's 2-hour Interview

Letting Loose

The Right to Pray

Yawn