Evil Odd

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Saturday, April 28, 2007

Odd's Kitchen (1)


You better come on
In my kitchen
Coz it's going to be rainy outdoors

- Robert Johnson

I know I've been bragging about how good of a cook I am in previous posts. Here's proof - although, given the simplicity of this dish - it doesn't really show much. But I'm planning to cook something much more sophisticated next week. Ladies, cook it for your partner, and he'll have one less reason to leave you and hook up with the blondie in the office :)

Rump Steak, Potato Mash and Salad with Italian Dressing

Pretty simple, all you have to do is buy a fresh piece of rump steak from your local butcher, 3 small potatoes, and some garden greens (lettuce, spinach, rocket).

Peel and chop the potatoes, boil them for about 20-30minutes. Mash them up with a bit of cream (or milk), 2 teaspoons of butter, and a sprinkle of chilli flakes (and/or oregano - be creative).

Once that's done, leave the mash on low heat, heat another pan to high with a bit of olive oil (or peanut oil if you want to be fancy), and add your steak. Cook for about 4 minutes on each side (for medium-rare), and you're done. Remember to flip the steak ONCE. This ensures that the juices stay in.

Wash your salad, and top it with a bit of black pepper and Italian seasoning (if you can't be bothered, just mix a bit of vinegar and olive oil with lemon juice, and you're set!).

For the gravy, you can do two things: Either buy powdered gravy from the supermarket and add boiling water to it, or make it yourself. To make it from scratch, use the juices from the pan that you cooked the steak in. Add 2 tablespoons of flour, a bit of beef stock and boiling water, and stir until the desired consistency.

Stay tuned for pictures of next week's mega-meal:
Pumpkin and Roasted Apple Soup
Ghormeh Sabzi
Italian Chocolate Semifreddo

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Me and the Devil Blues

Early this morning
He knocked upon my door
And I said hello, Satan
I believe it's time to go

- Robert Johnson

It is that time of the year where I stop shaving, and take only a shower every two to three days. Call me grubby Odd. I want to be a bum for at least two weeks before I put on my suit. Why? Just coz. I said so. I'm me and will do whatever me wants.

No fuck it. I won't do what I want. I'll do what I don't want, coz that's more fun and unpredictable. I hate predictable things. They make life so boring. I'd rather be be be be be be..

So this is what it's like when someone has nothing to write and nothing occupies his mind except preparing cash flows from scratch and completing consolidations of large companies that have multiple subsidiaries in different continents. It's boring, yet satisfactory. I want to be good at it. But I can't be bothered. Why am I here again? Oh yes, food. Why of course. Why wouldn't anyone want to have good food? And why can't people eat? Let them eat cake!

Yes!


I got ramblin'
I got ramblin' on my mind

I don't really. I'm just crapping on with the hope of something funky to click in my head so that I actually put a post up. If nothing comes up by the time this ramblin' is finished, then I'll post this.

But the thing is, I really enjoy cooking. Nothing gives me more pleasure than running around the kitchen and chopping stuff, frying stuff, and then making something that smells good. If it smells good, then it will most likely taste good.

But no, but yes, but no, butyesbutnobutyesbutnobutyesbut..

I want that one.. hmm...

Once this exam is over I'll gather the fried pieces of my brain and cool them down a bit. Until then, expect nothing but psychotic nonsense.

4 more days and I'll be jobless for 2 weeks. Can't wait. Can't wait. 2 more weeks and I'll be done with this nightmare of an exam. Seriously.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

To Odd, From God

Date: ¥
To: Odd
From: God
Subject: A Summary of Recent Events

Dear Odd,
Allow me to interrupt your God-less life for a second. I'm not one who goes about personally reminding your likes of my existence, but for once, I thought I might as well give it a crack. The Angels of Heaven have been busy figuring out a way to ensure the rivers of milk up here stay fresh, and as you can probably tell, the Angel of Peace has been out of action for a while. He claims his job is too repetitive and abstract. "I'm over it. I want to be counting leaves on that big tree instead," he specifically said. You might think I have it easy, but seriously, try convincing the Angel of Death to swap jobs. He's been kicking a stink lately.
You are a lucky one, Odd. It just so happened that every time you complained and whined I was looking your way. And given your reasonable requests, I repeatedly gave you what you asked for. You on the other hand still fail to even mention me when you sleep. That's okay Odd. I know how much you love food, and yes, your problem with heart-burn is there for a reason. You know when you wake up at night and feel like someone has lit a fire in your chest? Yep. That's me, you bastard.
All jokes aside though, three important things happened to you over the past couple of months. All three wishes you requested on the 29th of December 2006 were granted. So please, for the love of me, don't stuff it up this time. Your life is so boringly cyclical that it quite irritates me. What humanity does over centuries, you do over a cycle of four years. That's not a good thing Odd. Humanity might've not learnt everything it needed from its experiences, but it did learn some. You on the other hand, refuse to pick up anything from your past. For once, think about some of the things you did, and stop pretending that you were only born four years ago.
This letter has more to it than what the eye meets. So come back to it every now and then.

Yours Eternally,
God

P.S. Aren't you glad that you crashed your car rather than getting whacked with a lightbolt through your head?

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Odd's Odd Friends

The Sooky Lawyer, the Romantic Surgeon, the Odd Accountant, and the Mysterious Actuary have only one thing in common and that is their enjoyment of life. Apart from that, they disagree on pretty much anything and everything, except on the fact that they all love one another. I'll try my best to explain as fairly as I can:

In Love:

The Sooky Lawyer: Won't ask for much except love and attention. She's supportive, cooperative, and will give up the world to make her partner happy.

The Romantic Surgeon: Will buy flowers for his subject of attraction on a daily basis and act like Casanova for the longest time possible, until he asks her, "Are we official yet?".

The Odd Accountant: Will date as many girls as he can possibly find. When the 6-month time limit hits, he'll move on. Because too much of the same thing is just that - too much.

The Mysterious Actuary: Will do a bit of what the above three do, but he won't tell anyone about it. After all, he's the most cunning in the group, making him possibly the flirtiest.

In Study:

They all have this uncanny ability to hit the books. None of them necessarily thinks that they are smarter than the others, but they are all hard workers. When something has to be done, they'll get it done on time, and done well. Yes, the Odd Accountant will be sloppy, the Sooky Lawyer will stress out, and the Mysterious Actuary will disappear off the face of the planet, but not the Romantic Doctor. He'll sit there and read and read and read until he feels good and confident about it.

And like all friendship groups, there is envy. Except in this one, it's well-balanced.

Everyone envies the Actuary's intelligence, the Lawyer's dedication, the Doctor's persistence, and of course, the Accountants tendency to fluke his way through anything.

In Family:
They all unconditionally love their families, and come from completely different systems. The Sooky Lawyer, the Odd Accountant, and the Romantic Doctor have crazy fathers. Yep, there's no better word (or even a more proper word) to describe it.

The Mysterious Actuary's family seems normal to the other three. The other three think that this is the reason why the Mysterious Actuary is so grounded in his ways.


In Dramatic Situations:
The Sooky Lawyer: Will listen, cry, and laugh with others. Will always be there to provide a cuddle or two. And if it takes lots of chocolate to fix the problem, she'll eat it even though she can't have much.

The Romantic Doctor: Ah! The Romantic Doctor will always carry the burden of everyone's problems. I mean why not? He's problem-free. The Romantic Doctor has always been nice, caring, and over-supportive of everyone around him.

The Odd Accountant: Absolutely hopeless. He'll poke fun of the person in the dramatic situation, and use one of the following phrases: "Don't be sooky", "Pull your finger out", "Why do you have to make a Bollywood movie out of everything?" - Most people who come to the Odd Accountant do so because they want someone to tell them exactly what they expect him to say.

The Mysterious Actuary: Logic is the name of the game with this young man. He'll talk through things, maintain calmness, and will never compromise his situation by expressing too much emotion. While everyone knows how level-headed the Mysterious Actuary is, the Odd Accountant likes to think that he is a psycho on the inside. It makes him feel like he's not singled out.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Odd's New Job

So I got a new job.

All I had to do was send in a resume, put a suit on, and meet a few people at the upper end of the food-chain.

I'm pretty excited about it all. It'll be good to get out of my current job as I've reached a point where I just can't be bothered with anything associated with it. I still go to work and get on with what I have to do, but there is no excitement about it all. I don't jump out of bed wanting to go to work.

The rule is pretty simple: If you're waking up 2 days of the week thinking, 'I don't want to go to work' - then it's probably time for you to get a new job. Of course, assuming the employment market is fluid enough that you can get an equally well-paid job somewhere else.

Other signs to look out for are:

- Not being too worried about what your boss thinks.
- Thinking that some colleagues are absolutely intolerable.
- Developing an inferiority complex when people talk about their jobs.
- Knowing that in 3 years time, you wouldn't want to be in the same organization.

Yep - all items checked - I'm outta here!

The best thing about all of this is the randomness and coincidental nature of it all. To be completely honest, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE NEW JOB IS ABOUT.

Every time I have asked the question, "So what will I be doing?", the answer comes back as, "Ah, lots of things. You'll be fine."

I mean, I know that I'll have to wear a suit for it and will be required to travel a bit, but that's about it.

What scares me the most is that I have made way too many random decisions in my life based on purely 'gut-instincts', ignoring all rationality. All of those random decisions have come to a 'positive' end, but what if one day those 'gut-instincts' lead me astray?

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Odd's Flirt (3)

Being the way I am, I cannot be alone or sit still for more than a couple of hours. I woke up yesterday feeling a bit strange. And for some inexplicable reason I decided not to call any of my friends. The house was empty, and I had some washing to do (I had promised myself that I will never be short of undies ever again!). Once that was done, I finally gave up and sent a message to the one who's been occupying my mind recently.

"Hey, I'm car-less and and all alone :( Wanna come have some ice cream with me?" I know. Yes, corny, cheesy, and just simply, bad!

A few minutes later, the reply popped up, "Hey, I was thinking we could watch a DVD tonight. I'm going to dinner soon, but if you can't make it I'll come over now"

Did she say DVD? Ooooh yea. I am so in!

So we agreed that she'd come over later to watch a movie. When the time came, we picked Mallrats. Stupidly funny, but a good choice to keep the evening light. Not much happened between us throughout the movie besides a bit of small talk, and a cheeky attempt at me to hold her hand. Boys, stop cringing - go get a bucket or something. Girls, I know, sweet ay? ;)

So the movie ended, and we decided to talk.

"So, is there something you wanna tell me?"

"Uh. I am so confused. I totally didn't see it coming!"

"Well, you can say no. We can just be friends and move on."

"That's the thing. I don't want to say no because I don't feel that way. But it's also weird for me to say yes." Hmmph!

"If you only knew how many people are waiting for you to give an answer, you'd totally freak out!"

"What do you mean!?"

"Uh, never mind."

So we spent the rest of the night chatting away about what her friends think and what my friends think and how could she be so naive as to not pick up all the hints I've been dropping.

"Only a month ago you were telling me about all the girls you'd been dating. How am I supposed to think of you as anything other than a friend if you're telling me that?!" Oops. So I forgot to mention this insignificant bit in my first flirt post.

Two hours later, it was time for her to go. We said good night, and she took home the chocolate bunny that I had bought her for Easter.

Eight hours later, it was time for us to go to the library.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Odd's Accident

I was driving around the multi-level car park yesterday...


Fucki'mrunninglateIneedtobeonthisinterviewpanelin10minuteswhatamIgoing toaskthesepeopleGodIneedtogetmyshittogetherthecourseIamdoingisfucking
hardandthereissomuchworktodoandwhatthefuckiswrongwiththisgirlwhoruns
awaywhenyouaskthemout?whatamidoingwithmyselfican'tstandmyjobanymore
iusedtolikefuckwhyamisuchascatterbrainsometimesireallyneedtofocusonwhat
i'mdoingatthemom....


CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHH



I rammed into this other car that seemed like it appeared out of nowhere. My fault. I'm not going to even pretend it wasn't. I'm okay - just emotionally drained after a disgustingly long day. I parked my car immediately after I destroyed it, got out, and headed straight back to work. Called the insurance company, the towing truck came, and my car was gone. I'm quite annoyed with myself, but also grateful that whatever happened was a minor incident and that God decided to throw this at me rather than a light bolt for all the misdeeds I've committed. Something down there feels good. Something tells me, Odd - you deserved it!

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Odd's Flirt (2)

We won our volleyball game. Totally smashed the other team. We're in her car because she will never let me drive her anywhere again. My attempt at psyching myself up to drop the question is half-revealed through my unusual quietness.

"I felt sorry for the other team. They were quite easy to beat."
"Yeah"
"So, are you excited about your new job?"
"Yeah, it's not too bad"

A turn before getting back to her place, I had to blurt it out.

"Hey"
"Yeah?"
"I don't mean to put you on the spot"
"But?"
"But... do you think we can go out?"
"Huh?"
"Will you go out with me?"

Silence. She stopped the car at her place and got out without saying one coherent word. She stared at the sky as she walked up her driveway.

"This is so weird. Such a foreign concept. I never thought of it this way."
"Well, do you think it will work out?"

Silence. She slowly walked towards the main door, and while turning the handle she said, 'can I think about it and let you know?' She disappeared from sight.

Two hours later, I received a text message: 'Sorry. I just totally didn't see that coming. I'm not good with surprises.'

After consulting with housemates, the neighborhood, friends, and everyone I could think of, I decided to send a gentle reply, 'How about you think about it and let me know? In the meantime, we can still hang out as buddies. Good night'

Next day, I rock up to work. At around 10:15am I get a message on the internal network.

"What was last night all about?! Did you actually think about it? Or were you being your usual spontaneous self?"
"I actually thought about it for a while... only decided recently that it was worth taking the risk for"
"As you can obviously tell, I'm not very good at the face-to-face thing. Can you not mention it until I feel comfortable?"

So there you go, dear reader, my love life in a nutshell - odd.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Not Odd Enough


Schmick enough?

Odd Scenes

My phone rang at about 8:40am two days ago. It was the assistant manager of the firm that I had had an interview with at the beginning of the week.

'Odd, it's Don. Are you free Monday morning at 9:00am?'
'Sure am'
'Our senior director would like to meet you.'
'Sounds great. I'll see you then.'
'Ummm...do you have jacket?' What the? Well, I suppose I do come across as someone who doesn't own a suit
'No, but I'll buy one this weekend.'
'That's fine. It's just that this guy is a bit more formal. That's all'
'Thanks for letting me know. Am I meeting with him only?'
'No. I'll be there too, unless you don't want me to.'
'No not at all. I'll see you then'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We're sitting around a table at the pub. Her housemate is giving her shit about nothing really. I'm taking sides with the housemates. She looks at me and tells me, 'you're so annoying tonight.' and lets out a very long sigh.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Do you wanna come suit shopping with me?'
'Sure', says my best mate who is also the worst wingman ever.

30 Minutes later, I'm walking to my car with a new charcoal-colored suit. Looks schmick, I think. Not as funky as the pin-striped one that I tried on, but I suppose I should buy a plain one first before complicating things.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As we're walking around town, I decide to muck around with her best friend and intentionally ignore her existence. She totally flips out and decides to walk away from everyone. I follow her to the cheap and dirty chicken burger outlet. She sits there and quietly eats her chips, but then decides to tell me how annoying she thinks I am.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Welcome to our country. You're now officially one of us. Feeling racist yet?'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey Boss,
I got an interview Monday morning at 9:00am - so I will be late to come in to work. Can you please let me know if there are any issues with this? Also, I'm not a very good liar, so I can't make a good excuse to put on the board - any ideas?

Cheers,
Odd

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She's fuming with anger.
'I swear to God I'm gonna vomit in your car one day just to show you how bad of a driver you are.'
'I only drive like this with you.'
'You are so annoying.'

I stop the car at her place.

She steps out, steam coming out of her ears, 'I REALLY DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU...'

silence..

'...FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS', and slams the door shut.

Given that it's Friday, of course I'm not gonna see her for a couple of days. Not fussed at all.