Evil Odd

Back

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Odd's Flirt

It's been going on for a few weeks now. All our friends think we're gonna hook up. Not to mention our workmates who crack sex jokes at our expense on a daily basis. We bump into each other a fair bit outside of work. We play on the same teams in volleyball, and have mutual friends.

We're both doing some form of a post-grad diploma. So a few weeks back I asked if she wanted to go to the library to study together (I like studying with other people, and no, that was not me having a crack). She said probably not, because she had bought a new desk and the novelty of it was still there. I said whatever, obviously offended that she did not want to hang out with a fine specimen of a gentleman like myself (stop rolling your eyes, I'm talking shit here).

So anyway, time passed, we ended up hanging out on weekends as well. There's a bit of flirting, a lot of laughing, and not enough 'serious' talking. But who cares about talking at this stage? Anyway, around 4:30pm everyday, I get a message on the internal network from her. Usually it's just chitty chatty stuff - a couple of flirty comments, gossip about our friends, whinging about our workmates - but today, it came:

"So I was thinking of going to the library to study a couple of times a week. Wanna come?"
"Hell yeah!"
"You're such a nerd, so keen." If she only knew what the 'hell yeah' was really for.
"I'm glad you finally decided that it's hard to study at home, besides, committing to something regularly will make you actually get up and do it.."
"Yeah, this is why I wanna do this.."
"So, do you wanna book one of those rooms upstairs? ;) " Attempt no.1
"Not if I can help it ... I don't want you to be talking to me..." Failed

There was a fair bit of discussion about times and dates...

"If we do Tuesdays, we have to do it around 7:00pm. Other nights we can do it earlier?"
"Hmmm, what do you have on Tuesdays? Matt wants some Odd time?" Matt's a friend - and oooh - aren't we curious little cats?
"Actually, no - his time is 6am in the morning - but anyway, there are ladies out there who need Odd time, and if they knew you were getting TWO NIGHTS a week, they'd be very pissed off"
"I love the ego"
"It's usually internalised and subdued, you bring it out"
"Sort of like how you bring out the frustration in me? That makes me sigh and huff and puff at you?"
"Yep..."

"Hmm, interesting. Hey, do you wanna spice things up a bit and go to dinner on Wednesdays?" Attempt 2
"Sure. Only if it's a quickie though" Success
"Quickie ay? ;)"
"Heheheh.. If only your boss saw the screen now"
"She'd love it, they all live vicariously through us you know..."


End of post about really nothing.

I kind of wonder though:

-If she didn't really like me, she wouldn't want to waste two nights of her week with me, would she?
-When our workmates tease us, she doesn't really back off or do a "him? NO WAY!". She just giggles and replies with a smart ass "Can you really blame him?"
- She starts 80% of our conversations
- We're complete opposites in EVERY SENSE of the word. That makes our time together very amusing. Not a bad thing though is it?
- There is still a tiny bit of awkwardness when we're together
- She's been trying to talk me out of applying for this new job I've been telling you about...

Comments anyone? Suggestions? Do's and Don'ts?

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Odd's 2-hour Interview

With a beer on his desk, Mr. Yellow Tie started talking. For the first few minutes, I was totally zoned-out. Names of too many firms were thrown at me as if I were shopping for diapers, but things got very interesting...

So what was all the crapping on about?

1- I have a medium sized private firm
2- I make a LOT of money and I am happy to pay my staff a lot of money
3- I am honest and will tell it to you as it is
4- I control how much pressure I put on my staff
5- I think about the next step each staff member needs to take
6- I appreciate the diversity of my office
7- I like people who take responsibility for their work
8- I don't mind people who stuff up, as long as they learn
9- I am proud that at the age of 24, I had 120 staff members under me who worked in an insolvency case
10- Pro-rated, my firm brings more money in than the Big 4.
11- I'll provide you with as much training as you want.

After he went on for a good hour or so, I said, "I appreciate your sense of honesty. Could you please tell me three negative things about your firm?"

1- Thinks that it could be bigger
2- Thinks that his firm is too 'money-oriented'
3- Thinks that they don't pat themselves on the back as much as they should

All in all, I liked the way he presented himself. There was a good level of well-deserved arrogance in his manner, but he wasn't overbearing at all. He seemed to be a really smart people-person (hardly lost eye-contact throughout the interview). The fact that he stayed back to 8pm to interview me said a lot too.

At the end, he left me with this comment:
"If I thought you were a bullshit artist, I would've stopped this interview at the 10-minute mark."


I might actually take this job...

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Letting Loose

Every once in a while, when I realise that I had been inhaling conditioned air and exposing my skin to fluorescent light more than I should, I decide to let loose.

'Let loose' is an understatement. I go completely nuts!

I would've written more today, but I'm having massive grammatical issues. Maybe that part of the brain is still turned off..

No, I'll write more. I have nothing else to do anyway (besides clicking on the 'submit' button).

So at midnight last night, I stepped out of the office. What happened after that is a very murky memory. All I know is I woke up feeling great today.

What defines letting loose, you may ask. I'll tell you, dear visitor:

1- Letting loose means doing whatever you feel like. Be an existentialist for once, do whatever you feel like as long as you're not limitting anyone else's freedom.

2- Be yourself. Forget about what people might or might not think of you. Let your inner weirdo come out (as if that's hard for me to do - but I'm sure it is for you, so keep reading!). Most of us live with this fear of 'leaving an impression' in our minds. Forget about that, for once.

3- In order for you to reach that level of 'letting loose' that only some grand masters have attained, you need to work hard at all other times. Work so hard that you completely lose touch with reality. When the 'letting loose' day comes, you will be feeling like a kid in a candy store, and that is the point.

4- Don't 'let loose' with the same people. Choose a different person or a group every once in a while. If you let loose with same people over and over again, you are bound to complicate things for yourself and people around you. They'll start turning into ... counselling sessions!

5- LETTING LOOSE IS NOT DEMANDING A COUNSELLING SESSION from everyone around you. If you think that complaining is letting loose, then you've got it all wrong - go back to step one.

6- Document your letting loose experience. If you're not the type that does it very often, you will soon forget that good feeling. Documenting the experience will give you something to look back at and remind you of how good you once felt. Most of us write only under stress and anger - do it when you're happy, it feels different.

Jeez, I wasn't even planning to write this much about this 'letting loose' business. But anyway, have a crack at it, and let me know if you ever blog about your 'letting loose' experience.

Friday, March 23, 2007

The Right to Pray

If I had possession
Over judgement day
Lord, the woman I'm lovin' wouldn't
Have no right to pray

- Robert Johnson

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Does it Matter?

If I stay up at night
To talk to God
About a certain delight
That burns my heart
Will it matter?

If I kill the one I love
To rid myself
Of an addiction
That twists my spine
Will it matter?

If I work hard to make
Money that will create
Happiness that will end
On the bridges of hell
Will it matter?

This life of mine
Will end at last
In a pool of sand
Tonight


Relax - no one's about to commit suicide!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

An Odd Question

How many Hoolies, in your opinion, reclassified themselves from 'Arabs' to 'Persians' after September 11?

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The Undie Crisis

Before you keep reading:

... if underwear issues offend you, then please - by all means - STOP reading now!

Are we good to go? Excellent...alright ...

So I wake up this morning at 6am for my daily exercise. The sun wasn't up yet and the air was cool enough to freshen me up a bit. So I stepped outside, did some exercise, and came back home. Took a shower, opened the cupboard to put on clothes for work, and to my dismay I found out that I had run out of clean undies. It was 8:00am.

I realised that I had all my undies (and yes, I have a LOT of undies), were outside hanging to dry. However, the thought that it had rained all of yesterday didn't click in my head until I actually went out to get what I thought would be a fresh, clean, relatively crispy pair of undies. I picked up a pair, and they were SOAKING wet.

Shit. This is not good. Not good at all.

I checked all the other ones hanging on the line, and they were equally wet. I couldn't describe how I felt at this stage. Never before in my life had I not had a fresh pair of undies ready to be worn. By the time I thought about all the things that I'd have to do from this point onwards, it was 8:20am.

So I took what I thought was the driest pair off the line, squeezed water out of 'em, and headed to the ironing board. Turned on the iron and attempted my very best to iron them to dryness.

Success? ... Er...No!

I knew I had a volleyball match at lunchtime, so I REALLY couldn't afford going to work 'commando' style (if you catch what I'm throwing!). These undies HAD to be dried. Looked at the watch after spending a few minutes at the ironing board - 8:45am. Ok, that's it. I had to call my boss.

Picked up the phone, dialled my desk's number, and my forty-year-old boss who educated me about vasectomy picked up.

"Yo yo!"
"Eyyyyyyyyy"
"Ummm, look - I'm up and running. But something came up...ummm.. It's ummm... quite interesting... I'm just having issues...."
"No..No...I don't want to hear about your issues..."
"Ok, ok. But this is good. You'll love it...I'll tell you when I come in... Just note me down as 'maybe late' for now"
"Ok..See ya"
"Bye"

Phew. So now that the dreaded phone call was out of the way, it was time to head back to the ironing board. After a few miserable attempts at drying those Bu-Yagoob-Company undies with an iron, I gave up, and went to work.

...

...

Monday, March 19, 2007

About Odd

1- He's.. Odd.
2- Will check his watch half-way through any movie.
3- Won't watch T.V. for more than half an hour. It makes him feel like he's wasting his life away.
64- Yet he will day dream for three hours and not feel guilty.
5- Likes to read about as many religions as he can.
6- Yet, he refuses to practice any of them.
7- Doesn't smoke.
8- But will have a puff when the occasion arises.
9- Likes to read books.
10- Hates finishing them.
33- Doesn't read books by female authors.
11- Always thinks about what he's thinking.
12- Which is why he's thinking about what he's currently thinking about.
13- Doesn't understand himself at times.
14- But is quite comfortable with the idea of not knowing.
42- However, he freaks out when people describe how they perceive him.
16- Enjoys the company of the devil.
17- But doesn't really mind God.
18- Has a thing for music that's not manufactured.
23- Doesn't listen to female singers.
19- Has no sense of direction when he's in a car.
20- But rather than getting angry, he loves getting lost.
44- Cooks for fun.
22- Writes when he's stressed.
73- Gets irritated when things are in order :)
39- But doesn't think that that makes him an anarchist.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Hmm (2)...

Ok,

I'm officially a geek and a nerd.

It's 6:51 pm - still stuck in the same office from yesterday. Working on the same assignment. I have made some progress, but there is still the other half of the assignment to go.

I'll call Mo.

*Dials Mo's number* *Ring,ring* *Mo picks up*

"Yoooo Mooooooww whaddaaayaaa knoooow?"
*Mo giggles* "How are you man?"
"Yea, yea still working on the stupid assignment. What's danglin' with you?"
"Not much"
"...not much? That's kinda worrying...What do you mean nothing's danglin? Dude, you should check it out... anyway, I'm being stupid, we should catch up. Coffee at 8pm? Same place?"
*Mo giggles* "Sure"
"Good, bye"
"Bye"

How exciting is that? I'll finally leave the office...

Now, onto more important issues: The quarter pounder I had today was fantastic.

Not to mention the fact that I managed to calculate the effective interest rate on a seven year loan of $100mil that is recognised at a carrying value of $98.6mil with semi-annual rate resets at 6.35%. That took a very, very long time. I mean seriously, how do you expect me to use the 'goal seek' function in Excel like I'm a pro when I haven't even used it ONCE before.

Anyway, I'm getting side-tracked. Back to more important issues: The chips that came with the quarter pounder were hot - and the mayonnaise on the side was even better.

Oh and Mo is a doctor.

1:24 AM - still here... lemme have a crack at something...

A cheat you are indeed
You see what you don't believe
A blind man comes to town
To burn the golden crown

The two kids are sitting at the dining table. The sun is about to rise. It's time for school but today, the unforeseen will occur. One of them will get run over by a train. No, that's too sad and morbid. Let's change it.

The two youngsters are having breakfast. The sun is just about to melt the clouds above. Father had promised them a great holiday in two weeks time, but that won't happen.

No, why does it always have to take a negative spin?

John and James drank two cups of milk each before they stepped out of the house. The sun was melting the ice from the hailstorm last night and the birds were singing... Wait ..what hailstorm? Why a hailstorm? No hailstorm. I totally made that up.

Moving right along...

Friday, March 16, 2007

Hmm..

So I'm sitting in an empty office.

It's 11:38pm.

I'm working on an extension project that needs to be done before next Sunday.

I also have a 'potential' presentation on Thursday.

Not to mention the multiple choice quiz which I completed 2 hours ago, which I totally fucked up.

I'm hungry.

I know I'm going to be a monk in 20 years time, so why am I bothering with this now?

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Odd - Father of Steel (or Steel's Father)

For someone who didn't give two shits about exercising for most of his life, I am quite impressed by the effort I've put in over the past 3 months.

Yes, yours truly is ... Odd, The Bu7adeed.

Here's my schedule: -

Mondays: Wake up at 6am and do one hour of aerobics exercises - Play a match of volleyball at night
Tuesdays: Play a volleyball match at lunchtime - Play 2 hours of squash after work
Wednesdays: Go to the gym at 6:30am - do weight training
Thursdays: Wake up at 6am and do one hour of aerobics exercises
Fridays: Go to the gym at 6:30am - do weight training
Saturday or Sunday: Take one day off - Play 1 hour of squash in the other.

Sounds impressive ey? I know, I know... Odd has a big head now. People comment about how fit he looks, how big his arms are, and how much stamina he has. Not to mention those who even ask, 'can I feel your arms?' But beyond all this showing-off, the most surprising thing was how superficial some people are. I mean, there are some assholes out there who've changed their tone with me ever since I've started working out. Are they just worried that I might knock the life out of them if they piss me off? Or do they just appreciate my efforts and have found that there is a 'manly' side to 'nerdy' Odd?

The interesting thing is that my eating habits have somehow subconsciously changed as well (and yes, I really do mean it. I don't pick what I eat, I have just noticed a subtle change). Here's what I've noticed:

- I've cut down on Indian food
- No more KFC (What the? How did this come about?)
- I've incorporated some healthy stuff in the Bahraini dishes I cook
- Realised that Iranian food is actually pretty healthy (barring the butter on the rice).
- Increased protein intake significantly

Any questions?

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

I got ramblin'

I got ramblin’
I got ramblin’ on my mind
I got ramblin’
I got ramblin’ all on my mind
Hate to leave my baby
but you treats me so unkind

I got mean things
I got mean things all on my mind
Little girl, little girl
I got mean things all on my mind
Hate to leave you here, babe
but you treats me so unkind

Robert Johnson

Hear it as originally recorded here:

http://www.univie.ac.at/Anglistik/easyrider/data/Rramblin.htm

- You won't like it. Guaranteed, until you listen to it for the 100th time. When one day, you do get ramblin' on your mind, you'll remember it.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

...

*cracks his knuckles*

*dusts off his shoulders*

*removes cobwebs from his hair*

*scratches his nose*

*takes a sniff...hmm..something smells funny around here*

Fuck me - I have nothing to say...yet..